Touhou Death Files: Shizuha Aki
by Vrock8
Summary: Shizuha is consumed by hatred and destroys herself. Violence, gore, character death.
1. That time of the year again

**Disclaimer: **Touhou is owned by ZUN.

**A/N: **Death files story. It's not a sequel to the other one, doesn't take place in the same universe, and is completely self-contained. It's also different in tone, darker, a lot less fun. Do not expect much from it.

**Chapter 1: That time of the year again.**

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The last leaf of Gensokyo had fallen an hour ago. It was red, red like an open sore, red like Shizuha's dress, like her tired, bloodshot eyes. She was holding it between her fingers and twirling it, back and forth. The autumn was over. It was the time of end and death.

"You should eat," Minoriko said. The sisters were sitting across one another, the table between them stacked with mounds of food. Bright, fresh vegetables and fruit, much like Minoriko's mood and attitude. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were sparkling, she was happy. For her, it was the time of pleasure, the time to savor the hard-earned harvest.

"What's the point?" Shizuha asked dully.

"The point." Minoriko raised a finger. "Is that it tastes damn good."

She took a bite from a large, yellow apple. It crunched loudly. Shizuha wondered if the apple enjoyed it, being crushed between teeth and devoured. Probably not.

"I know whash's happening," Minoriko said, her mouth full. She swallowed. "It's that time of the year again. You get moody, go away, return a week later, all beaten up and miserable. You go to bed, and sleep till spring."

"It's going to be different this time. This time, I will finally end it all."

Minoriko rolled her eyes. "Look, this is a waste of time. You're an immortal goddess, faith sustains your life. What, do you intend to go and kill all your followers? Please."

Shizuha didn't answer right away. She looked to the side, and out of the window. A sea if wilted grass, and bare trees in the distance. "If needed be, I will destroy the world."

Minoriko dropped the apple and covered her mouth. For a few moments she was struggling and shaking, then burst into laughter. Shizuha clenched her teeth, and crushed the leaf in her fist.

Minoriko kept laughing. Shizuha stood up. "I'm leaving."

"Haha… ha, sure, go ahahahaha…!"

Shizuha stormed out. She slammed the door shut and took flight, flew as fast as she could. She wanted to escape that condescending laughter, that choking room. She wanted for the world to disappear, but it would not, it would catch up to her and torture her more.

Minoriko caught up to her. She has always been faster, stronger, smarter. Tears of laughter were still in the corners of her eyes. There was a large leather bag in her hands. She overtook Shizuha and blocked her way.

Shizuha glared. "Want a fight?"

"No. I know I can't stop you, but I insist that you don't go empty-handed."

"I don't need it."

Minoriko dropped her smile. "Yes you do. Take the blanket and food, don't mooch on people, it's not fitting for a goddess."

Minoriko flew closer and pushed the bag into Shizuha's hands. "Behave yourself," she said bluntly.

Shizuha looked away. She considered dropping it, but that would accomplish nothing except for a spell card duel, a loss, and a day wasted on rest and clothes repair.

It was pointless. In fact, everything was pointless, except for her journey, a journey to the grave. Her sister was not even an obstacle, it was a clucking plump distraction that smelled of grapes and apples.

Minoriko let go of the bag, and Shizuha kept holding it. The harvest goddess flew back a bit. Her expression softened.

"Let's not repeat what happened last year, okay?"

Shizuha bared her teeth, but managed to control herself immediately. What had happened the year before was not something she wanted to remember or discuss. She turned her snarl into a strained smile. Minoriko smiled back.

"Come back soon," Minoriko said. "I'll cook up a pumpkin pie."

"Farewell, sister."

Minoriko waved and flew away, back towards their home. The bag was bulky, but had a long strap for easier carry. Shizuha put it over her shoulder and flew forward, towards the next step on the road of her demise.

She felt neither sorrow nor anger with this final goodbye. Only clingy, sour annoyance.

**[~ == ~]**

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Hina Kagiyama didn't have a home. She moved around, took refuge from elements in caves and abandoned hermit hovels. She owned the foot of the Youkai Mountain, if only in a sense that no one sane would want to share land with the curse goddess.

Shizuha found Hina easily in their agreed meeting place, at a destroyed minor shrine. Like the rest of Hina's domain, the area was quite messy, broken dolls littered the ground and tacky origami shapes decorated the gnarly branches. Hina was easy to spot too, both because of the vibrant green color of her hair and the fact she was idly spinning in place, the ribbons of her dress slashing air with buzzing, unpleasant sound.

Hina spotted Shizuha, spun once more and stopped.

"Hello," she said with a smile. "What a wonderful day for an adventure."

"Yes, hello. Are you ready to go? I want to end this as fast as possible." Shizuha was mildly irritated already, by that smile and attitude.

"Of course. Onwards we go, on a most noble death-seeking quest."

Hina picked up a small purse from behind the shrine, apparently all her traveling supplies. Like her dress, it was marked with a spiral, and like her dress, it was of the most nauseating color combination - red and green.

Shizuha didn't like Hina much, mostly because of this clash of her exterior with what she was at the core. However, she was a subservient god, and, judging from their short letter exchange earlier this autumn, was willing to help. Too bad she was overly nosy and noisy.

"Where are we going?" Hina asked. "You never mentioned it in the letters."

"Just follow me and help in spell card fights. It's all you need to do."

"But I want to do more! Perhaps I know a shortcut through wind currents, or can help negotiate."

Shizuha glared. Was it going to be like this for the rest of the way? Next Hina would ask why did she want to die, and didn't she care at all how sad her sister would be. This was unacceptable.

"You can carry my bag," Shizuha said, and threw it towards Hina. The curse goddess caught it, and immediately lost altitude because of the weight. She climbed up.

"Oh, it's heavy. What's inside?"

"Stop asking dumb questions. If it shuts you up, we are going to Nameless Hill first, then to the Ruins of Former Hell."

"That's interesting, I never knew there was an underground location where gods can die forever. Or perhaps a special god-slaying youkai lives there? Perhaps-"

"Shut up, Hina," Shizuha snapped. Hina pouted, but didn't stop talking right away.

"I was only trying to make conversation," she said. "I'm on your side, I'll help you die. You can trust me."

"I am not in the mood."

They flew in silence for a while. Below was autumn Gensokyo, quiet and sleepy. The sun was weak, barely made it through the lead gray of the evening clouds. In the distance, a hill started to take shape, a hill colored dirty white.

"Hey, can I ask a smart question?" Hina asked, and immediately proceeded with it. "If winter is here, why are the lilies still in bloom?"

Shizuha focused her will. Yes, something familiar on that hill, like a familiar pain, like a bone broken long ago, aching in the rain. A familiar feeling, a familiar, old adversary. Shizuha stopped in air, and Hina stopped with her.

"Something wrong?"

"Yes. You'll see for yourself, very soon. An ancient enemy, an elder evil. Prepare to fight."

Hina brightened up. "Great! That, I can do. I'm so glad I can help."

She spiraled down to the ground and boldly strolled forward. Apparently, in her mind, evil had to be engaged in an obligatory uphill battle through vapors of poisonous flowers. Shizuha winced.

The hill was an integral part of her plan. It could not be avoided, and it mattered little that the enemy was nearly indestructible. After all, in a spell card battle only conviction mattered, resolve and force of will.

She had to believe in her victory. She had to believe in herself and her goal. Her journey could not end this early, on this first trying step, it could not end in a crushing, humiliating defeat. Not this time.

This time, she was truly going to kill herself.

**[~ == ~]**

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	2. An ancient enemy

**Chapter 2: An ancient enemy**

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Nameless Hill was a place of deceit, alluring in its beauty, yet deadly to those who dared to approach. It was shrouded in thin fog, it hid and expanded distances at random, all for the purpose of delaying intruders and hapless travelers, it wanted to make them stay, breathe in more of the poisonous air, and die. Hina, however, was undeterred, she ran straight to the top, through the weak and scarce lilies.

Shizuha didn't care about all this. She flew in from above, right to the small meadow at the flat hilltop, to the tiny house of Medicine Melancholy. The doll youkai was outside, she sat at a side of the bright picnic cloth and was busy with a large assortment of vials and bottles. Like Hina, she looked like a toy from a distance – a typical doll, blond hair, purple and black frilly dress.

Across her sat her visitor, a youkai woman, her dress straight, checkered and red. Her hair was green, not poison-green like Hina's, it was the color of newborn grass. She was holding her right hand forward, and green streams of energy poured out of her fingers into what was at the middle of the picnic cloth – a tiny blue flower on a patch of loose soil. She held an open white parasol over her shoulder, and idly twirled it.

Shizuha landed and moved closer to the two, silent and tense. Medicine turned and stood up to greet her, made a curtsy. Shizuha scoffed.

"Still consorting with that _thing, _I see," Shizuha said. "I though I ordered you to poison her."

The woman in red turned her head slightly. She was smiling. She kept pouring energy into the flower.

"My, how undignified, to order assassination by poison. I'd say that's the new low, leaf-painter, but you'd have to drill through rock of your rock bottom," the woman said.

"Again with that degrading name. I am the goddess of despair and decay of Autumn. I am the goddess of the End."

"And I am Hina Kagiyama, the Cursed Doll of the Mountain!" came a shout from behind Shizuha. Hina ran to her, out of breath. "I'm on a quest most noble, a death-seeking quest! And if there is evil on the way, I shall slay it! Now, where is it?"

Shizuha stepped back and pointed at the woman. "It's her. Yuuka Kazami, the undying plant abomination. Kill her."

"Sure! I declare my spell card!" Hina shouted. "Curse Sign-"

She didn't finish, as Yuuka's parasol closed, she raised her hand and pointed the tip at Hina. A white energy beam shot forward, knocked Hina back. It didn't seem to hurt her much.

"Spark," Yuuka said. "Can't you see Miss Melancholy and I are in the middle of something? Interrupting duels is rude."

Hina groggily got back on her feet. "A duel?"

"Yes, allow me to explain." Medicine gestured to her bottles. "Miss Kazami claimed she is capable of sustaining life in a single isolated flower, no matter how much poison is poured into the soil. We are close to the conclusion, as she is about to lose."

"The flower is still alive," Yuuka said. "I am winning."

"Life can not resist something that is deliberately designed to destroy it. Raw power has limits, admit it."

"We'll see, little miss poison, we'll see. Flowers are majestic plants, resilient and-"

"Who the hell cares about the flower?!" Shizuha suddenly screamed. "You are just projecting, it's about you, it's you who wants to live forever! Always in my way, your garden an undying tumor, your existence – a sin! Rot! Rot before my eyes!"

She pointed at Yuuka with a trembling hand. Indeed, she wanted to fire a blast of decay, a rotting globule that would cling to the hated flower youkai and flay flesh from her bones. She wanted it, she wished for it, she prayed – and nothing happened. Nothing.

"My, you have issues," Yuuka said. She turned back to the flower.

Blood rushed to Shizuha's face. Embarrassment, hatred, rage – it all boiled inside of her, unable to escape. She could not kill. She could not kill, but perhaps she could hurt Yuuka in some other way.

Shizuha ran forward. Yuuka noticed it, turned, put her parasol up like a shield – and she would block any incoming attack, except she was not the target. Shizuha ran on the tablecloth and stepped on the flower, crushed it.

Hina covered her mouth and gasped. Shizuha kicked the dead flower away.

Yuuka stood up. She was not smiling anymore. "Well, now, _that_ was uncalled for. Tell me, Medicine, what should we do to her? Kill her cleanly? Slowly? Perhaps you have an appropriately torturous poison at hand?"

"A quick destruction of her body is enough," the small doll said. "Anything else seems excessive."

"Yes, kill me!" Shizuha shouted. "Do you worst, I'll still outlive you! I will see your disgraceful, pathetic end!"

Yuuka punched Shizuha in the face, a blow that shattered teeth and filled her mouth with blood. Shizuha whimpered and fell, and Yuuka stepped on her chest, pushed hard.

"Stop it! She is under my protection!"

Hina fired a spiraling stream of blue orbs, but she could not go all out, both Shizuha and Medicine were too close. Yuuka blocked the attack with her parasol.

"I should have punished you properly for your first interruption, doll."

Yuuka split in two mirrored, identical beings. The Yuukas grinned at each other, one remained over Shizuha, the other shielded herself with the parasol and slowly walked towards Hina.

Hina's attack ended. She fired another one, a single crystal spike meant to pierce any defense, but suddenly the mirrored Yuuka dropped her shield and dashed forward. She ducked under the spike, lunged, caught Hina's head in her arms and forcefully twisted. There was a sharp cracking sound, and Hina fell to the ground in a heap.

"Tell me now," the Yuuka holding Shizuha asked. "Why do you envy my zest for life so much? Why does your own immortality taste so sour?"

Despite the pain and blood, Shizuha wanted to respond, but found out she was unable to speak, or breathe.

"Why are you silent all of a sudden? What's the matter? Speak up, I am eager to hear your reasons!"

The pressure on her chest tightened, from uncomfortable to painful, from painful to agonizing. Shizuha tried to scream, and could not. Through red haze, she heard Medicine speak.

"Too bad you can't truly kill a god this way. This is rather pointless, like your efforts to preserve the flower were."

Yuuka released a quiet, but very angry growl.

Then, Shizuha's sternum broke, and bone fragments pierced her lungs and heart.

**[~ == ~]**

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Shizuha returned to life. There was no pain, her ribs didn't snap back, tearing her organs again, she didn't vomit out blood or spit out broken teeth. It was a wondrous resurrection, her body miraculously restored through faith. It was like awakening from a dream. Shizuha sat up.

The first thing she saw was the sitting body of Hina, head hanging limply on her broken neck. The neck was sliced open from behind, and Medicine was currently digging through it with a long metal knife. Yuuka was standing behind the two, curiously watching. There was some blood around, but not much.

Yuuka looked at Shizuha. "Calmed down, I hope?"

Shizuha blinked. She remembered what happened, but only actions, not emotions and drives behind them, a lot got lost with her death. She got mad at Yuuka, wanted to kill her… why? She could not grasp it.

"What's happening?" Shizuha asked. She tried to stand up, but felt dizzy and sat back down.

"I am fixing your friend," Medicine said. She pulled a thin wrench from an instrument case at her side. "She will be fine in a little while."

"I'm watching dolls fixing dolls," Yuuka said. "Artificial life sustaining artificial life, very entertaining. I'm also pondering what to do with you."

Shizuha felt tired. She lost, and was at the mercy of the victor. And regardless of the flower youkai's decision, her journey was most likely over. She said nothing, and Yuuka continued.

"I'm thinking of dragging you to Eientei. That genius lunar doctor should take a good hard look at your exposed brain."

There was a crack, and Medicine straightened Hina's neck. Shizuha averted her eyes from the empty gaze of the dead doll.

"Leave me alone," Shizuha said.

"That's an option," Yuuka responded wryly. "But it's no fun, just like the first one. Instead, I think I'll follow you around, and keep rubbing in your face the value and beauty of life. How does that sound?"

"It sounds insane."

Yuuka laughed. "Oh, you'll see the world my way, you'll see. You'll learn to value and appreciate life of others, and your own. You'll learn to love your life, you'll find reasons to live for. Under my guidance, you will be happy."

Medicine put the wrench away and picked a thick bent needle and copper wire as her next tool. Shizuha noticed her bag near Yuuka. It was open.

"By the way, while you were dead, I ate your food. Your sister is an excellent cook," Yuuka said.

Shizuha said nothing, stunned. The silence extended. Medicine finished sewing the back of Hina's neck. She picked up a strange device from her instrument case, an elongated black box with two tiny metal prongs at the narrow end. She pushed at the side of the device, and an arc of lightning jumped between the prongs. She then hit Hina in the side with it.

With a gasp and a twitch, Hina returned to life, and immediately grabbed her mangled neck. "Did it spill? How much has spilled? How much?"

"Not much, barely at all," Medicine assured. Hina breathed in relief.

"See, isn't life beautiful? Even life of a doll. I think I will let you enjoy this private moment. Thank you for your warm welcome, Medicine, I will see you later this year. And you two, don't try to escape!"

Yuuka winked at Shizuha, sidestepped Hina and glided to the edge of the hilltop. Medicine silently bowed, then turned and went towards her house. Hina crawled closer to still sitting Shizuha.

"Can you believe it? We are so lucky! It barely spilled!" Hina exclaimed, smiling.

"What barely spilled," Shizuha said numbly.

"The curse! The curses! They didn't spill out! So lucky, if she twisted my head just a little further, it would come off, and everything would spill!"

Overwhelmed with joy, Hina hugged Shizuha. Shizuha kept sitting, her mind blank. Yuuka's words echoed in her head. Hina pulled back.

"Too bad I didn't see the end of the fight. Can you tell me what happened? Did you win? Did you lose? Did you have tea afterwards?"

"No…" Shizuha stumbled. "She… she said a lot of things. Apparently, she will be joining us on our journey. She ate my food."

"Really?" Hina carefully turned and checked her own bag. "Hey, she ate mine too! What an impolite youkai!"

Shizuha blinked. The haze from her mind lifted a bit. Perhaps she got used to the lilies, or perhaps the shock had worn off. Even for a goddess, death of the body felt awful.

She heard footsteps. Medicine Melancholy returned; she was holding a small, yet heavy bottle in her hands, a bottle filled with thick, purple liquid.

"I made twice as much as last year, and it is almost three times more potent," Medicine said. "I hope this will be enough to end your torment. Make sure to drink it right before you destroy your soul, so it doesn't have time to build tolerance."

She extended her small arms, and Shizuha took the bottle. No payment was necessary, for Medicine, it was a grand experiment, a test of abilities, a challenge. Shizuha could only wonder how happy the young youkai would be at hearing the news of her death.

"Thank you," Shizuha said. Medicine bowed.

Shizuha stood up. She put the bottle in her bag and helped Hina get up, as the curse goddess had not made a full recovery yet. They bid their farewells and descended down the hill. Yuuka was waiting for them, an open parasol in her hands.

"While you were dead, Medicine told me of your plan," Yuuka said. "A poison to seal your channels of faith, cut you off from devout. A road to hell, a jump into the pit of devouring fire. How overly complicated and ineffective."

Shizuha cringed. "What do you want? We both know you can easily stop me. Break my legs, drag me home, tie me to the bed. It's that simple."

"I want to show you the truth, many truths. Here is the first one – life never disappears. I changes shape, and lives on."

Yuuka turned the parasol in her hands. It spun, and kept spinning, and started humming. Streams of white flowed to it from somewhere behind.

Shizuha looked back. The lilies were wilting, the hill was changing color, from white to mottled brown. The flowers were dying, feeding the spin, feeding the ancient monster. Yuuka gave them life for a brief moment, for her meeting with Medicine to look pretty, and now took it all back, all for herself.

The flowers died, and Yuuka put the parasol over her shoulder. "Do you see it now? Have you absorbed the truth?"

Shizuha pushed her lips into a thin line and walked past Yuuka. Hina caught up to her.

"I don't get it," Hina whispered. "Why can't she understand that there are different worldviews?"

"She does it to provoke me. Ignore what she says, we will find a way to get rid of her somehow. And whatever you do, don't expect her to help, especially not at the bridge."

Hina looked confused. "What bridge?"

Shizuha stopped. She didn't want to say, to remember. She tried to bury it in her mind, but could not. It was the place of frustration and shame, the place where her weakness was bared, put on display, laughed at. A cursed place, but perhaps with the help of the curse goddess she would cross it. It would all be different this time. It had to be.

"The bridge to Hell," Shizuha said. "Parsee's bridge."

**[~ == ~]**

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	3. The Bridge

**Chapter 3: The Bridge**

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The monster was undressing her. It was fat and slimy, the foul slime was dripping on Shizuha's skin, the translucent belly wobbled, glowed green, wedding and engagement jewelry the thing ate over the years showed through. Shizuha could not move, she could only watch, and pathetically beg.

"S-stop…"

"Oh, my other half would stop," the monster growled. "She was the humane one. Too bad you killed her."

"I… didn't mean to-"

"Lies! You lie. Your rotten little heart is full of lies and envy. I will punish you, break you, one orifice at a time, and then all at once."

It tore away the last scraps of her dress. Shizuha tried to cover herself, but the monster pinned her with its weight, leaned over her face and smiled.

"No underwear? How lewd. Old-fashioned girls like you scream the best. Oh yeah, you will be an amazing fuck toy."

"No, please-"

The monster shut her up with a putrid kiss. Its swollen lips covered most of her face, and the tongue wormed between her clenched teeth, further, to the back of her throat. Shizuha choked, gagged, and woke up.

The monster was gone. She was lying on the hard stone floor of a windy cave, wrapped in a blanket. There was something in her throat, moving around. Horrified, Shizuha spit to the side, and what she spit out was a large white spider. She immediately vomited, but nothing came out but bile. Come think of it, she hadn't eaten anything for several days.

Shizuha crawled out of her blanket. Hina was sitting a bit to the side, all covered in spiders. There were spiders everywhere, on floor and walls, from tiny to huge, the largest ones the size of a sheep.

"Are you alright?" Hina asked. A spider crawled on her face, and she closed one eye to let it pass over it.

Shizuha wiped her mouth with a back of her hand. "What?"

"You were tossing and turning in your sleep, and then vomited. Are you alright?"

The memory of the green monster flashed in her mind. Shizuha cringed.

"No," she said. "I am never alright. Maybe I will be when I die. Stop asking dumb questions."

Hina nodded. Shizuha looked around again, at all the gleaming eyes and fangs. "I knew resting here was a bad idea."

"You don't like spiders? I understand. They are harmless though, their youkai leader arrived with them and Yuuka challenged her to a flower duel. They didn't want us to interfere."

Shizuha rolled up her blanket and stuck it in her bag. "We should leave while they are distracted."

"We finished awhile ago," Yuuka called from around the corner. "We are having tea, feel free to join."

Hina carefully stood up, and spiders fell from her like snow. The curse goddess floated a few inches off the ground, to not step on any of them by accident. Shizuha didn't move.

"You're not coming?"

Shizuha wanted to decline, but the taste of bile was fresh in her mouth, and she decided to wash it down. She followed Hina, and they entered a webbed alcove. A stone slab served as the table, and a single blue flower was in the middle of it, it grew from the stone. Yuuka was reclining near the entrance, was using giant fluffy spiders as pillows. The spider youkai preferred earth tones for her clothes and kept to the shadows, although it was hard for her to hide her enormous puffy dress.

"My name is Yamame Kurodani," the spider youkai said with a slight lisp. "I have the power to control disease."

"Not very well," Yuuka added. "I bested her easily. Let's all cheer for the little flower that lived!"

Shizuha stepped to the stone slab. She reached forward, plucked the flower out and crushed it in her hand. Yamame scrambled back, Hina shook her head in disapproval.

Yuuka raised an eyebrow. "Really? Again? Are you this petty?"

"This flower was not a natural one. It was a part of you, and you'd absorb it later anyway. By killing it, I released it."

Yuuka addressed Yamame. "This flower survived many strains of deadly diseases. It deserved better than this, don't you agree? Tell me, how should we punish her? Kill her cleanly? Let her be devoured by spiders? Maybe let spiders crawl inside of her and lay eggs?"

Yamame shuffled around. It looked like she was too young and weak to maintain fully humanoid form yet, and the dress was there to conceal her monstrous lower half.

"She seems desperate," Yamame said. "I don't want an enemy like her. Leave me out of it."

"Fair enough." Yuuka sipped her tea and turned to the autumn goddess. "I'm still in a good mood, but I won't share any tea with you now. Hina, do sit down, these spiders are very comfortable."

Hina looked at Shizuha, undecided. Shizuha took a step back. "Yes, stay with them, share tea with them. Betrayal is going to feel so sweet and soft, Hina. Stay with them."

Shizuha turned and walked away, shaking. Hina remained standing, there was obviously an inner struggle. Then she sighed, relaxed, sat down and leaned on a spider.

"You are not very bright, are you?" Yuuka asked. "She wanted you to stay with her."

"I know. I chose to leave her alone, I'd only be an annoyance."

"So you say, but I know you are getting tired of her antics. Tread carefully, you might start to have doubts."

A flat spider crawled on the table, carrying a cup of tea on its back. Hina took the cup and drank from it. "Doubts?"

"In your mission. You want to save her, prevent her suicide."

"Does it look like it? Saving her is not my intention at all."

Hina said it with complete honesty, and Yuuka narrowed her eyes, they turned into two crimson slits. She leaned closer to Hina.

"Let me get this straight," Yuuka said coldly. "When we reach Hell of Blazing Fires, when she drinks her poison, when she takes that last step over the ledge… will you not shout to her? Run to her? Catch her as she falls? Will you simply stand and watch? Will you not care at all?"

Hina smiled and waved. "No, of course not. That's so silly. It's what a mortal in my place would do. You can't judge gods by the values of mortals, it's like judging youkai by the values of humans!"

Yuuka drilled Hina with her narrow gaze for some time, then leaned back. "You are hiding something. Perhaps I should tear you apart, and look for your shiny little secret among your ruptured organs."

Hina paled, just for a second, but Yuuka caught that. She smiled widely.

"It's just a matter of time, cursed doll. Tell me, what will you do when I chew through all your lies and drag the bloody and quivering truth out? Will you cry? Are dolls able to cry?"

Hina nervously smiled. "I don't know what you are talking about. Let's move on, Shizuha is waiting. Thank you for your warm welcome, Kurodani Yamame."

Hina downed the tea, stood up and left in a hurry. Yamame shifted closer to Yuuka and adjusted her dress. She had a hopeful, awed expression.

"You scared a god, this is so cool!" Yamame exclaimed. "Will I be as scary when I am as old as you?"

Yuuka didn't respond right away. She stood up and made her way to the cave exit.

"A year from now," Yuuka said without turning. "Exactly a year from now, I will return here and kill all of your kin. I will kill you last, after a long torture, and you will beg for death a thousand times before it comes. I hate spiders, they are so disgusting."

She disappeared from view. Yamame clapped her hands in excitement. "So cool! Hey, let me try it too! When you return, you'll think I am an easy kill, but my arachnid army will ambush you from behind, and crawl inside of you, and lay eggs! Diseased eggs! How does that sound?"

No answer, just howling of wind through the cave. Yamame felt a chill.

"Um… miss Yuuka?"

Yamame shuffled up, and used her human legs to walk to the alcove exit. She peered out, and was caught by the throat, a steely, unwavering grip. She tried to call to the spiders, but the spiders were here, hugging the corners and trembling in terror. Yuuka pulled the weakly struggling Yamame up so they could see eye to eye.

"You are probably wondering why this is happening," Yuuka said. "All these questions in your little blond head. 'Why?' 'Am I going to die?' 'What did I do wrong?' Well, here is why – you sided with the leaf-painter instead of me. All you had to do was choose a clean kill for her, was it that hard?"

Yamame couldn't say anything. All she could do was choke, and try to scratch Yuuka's outstretched hand with her claws, try to kick with her spider legs. Her lungs burned, and Yuuka kept talking.

"'She looks desperate,' you said. 'I don't want an enemy like her,' you said. Well, now you will die instead of her, and I will feed your corpse to your pets. Such is life."

The world darkened at the edges, started to gray out. Yamame realized she was going to die, and that Yuuka was going to get away with it. It felt bitter, and so very, very unfair.

Then, Yuuka threw her to the ground and pinned her in place with the closed parasol. Yamame inhaled, and coughed, and squirmed, and cried. The spiders watched, and Yuuka smiled.

"I will not kill you," Yuuka said after a pause. "Not now, not next year. Your tea was passable, you were polite, your cushion spiders were fuzzy. But the spell card rules have weakened you, you and many others. You've become inattentive and careless, and have forgotten to love and value your life. You should feel ashamed."

Yamame quietly whimpered. Yuuka poked her a few times with a tip of her parasol, causing a small shudder every time. She sighed and walked away.

"Don't look at me like that," Yuuka said to the surrounding spiders. "It was just for fun."

**[~ == ~]**

**[~( ,' )~]**

**[ ~ || ~ ]**

The underground bridge was not silent. It was groaning, moaning, weeping. The wind here was impossible to fly against, they had to walk. Even Yuuka was having trouble pushing forward and had to close her parasol.

"Watch your step!" Hina shouted. "Be careful!"

The bridge was not solid either. Like a patchwork quilt, it was stitched from dozens of different bridges, stone, metal and wood, gaping holes around. Something was swirling in the murky darkness below, a shifting devouring mass. It was odd, the last time Shizuha was here, the bridge was whole, there was only a clear stream underneath, and the wind was not nearly as strong.

Hina, who was currently at the front of their little group, suddenly stopped and dropped to the ground. "Birds!"

A flock of hell ravens flew towards them at amazing speed, cawing and belching out energy orbs. Shizuha dropped down, just in time to avoid a wide beam Yuuka fired. The beam cut into the flock and scattered it, and a few burning bird corpses were instantly swept away by the wind.

Shizuha groaned and got back on her feet. She expected difficulties, but this was active resistance, Parsee definitely was warned beforehand. Was it Yuuka? It had to be Yuuka.

"More birds!"

Shizuha ducked, and Yuuka fired a beam again. This time, however, the birds took shape of a ring, with only a few in the middle that had to be sacrificed. The beam cut through, but the main bulk closed in, cawing, clawing, zapping.

There was a flash, and Hina started spinning, throwing sharp crystal bullets around, one of her irregular spell cards. The swarm dispersed, left the pierced ones behind.

Shizuha pulled herself up again. They had to keep moving, the bridge was not that long. Even in her sanctuary of power, Parsee had limits.

"Bricks!"

This time even Yuuka went for cover, right before a hail of bricks, broken wooden beams and other hard debris fell on them. It was not that dense though, and Shizuha remained unharmed.

The wind intensity dropped. Shizuha looked forward, and finally saw the bridge guardian in the distance. Parsee was chanting something.

"There she is!" Shizuha shrieked. "Kill her, kill her, kill her!"

Yuuka shoved Shizuha aside. "Haven't I told you that life is the most precious thing ever? I think I did."

Yuuka stepped forward and took lead. Hina unevenly stood up too, she received a few solid hits in that last attack.

They closed the distance fast, and Parsee dropped her incantation. It looked like the wind and the spells took a lot from her – her oddly laced dress tore and dirtied from the release of energies, her scarf was untied, her face was pale.

"Hello there!" Yuuka waved. "I am Kazami Yuuka, Flower Master of the Four Seasons. My power is flower control. What's your name and power?

"For you, I am Bridge Princess from Hell," Parsee spit. "I am not going to tell you my power. Anyone who consorts with _her_ is not worth my breath."

"My, someone has issues." Yuuka turned to Shizuha. "It is as if you were meant for each other. You'd make a great couple."

"We would not," Parsee said. Shizuha said nothing, just snarled. Hina approached the autumn goddess from behind and lightly touched her on the shoulder.

"My arm is broken," Hina said quietly. "I'm sorry if I won't be of much help."

"Let them fight," Shizuha whispered. "If we are lucky, they will destroy one another. Evil always destroys itself."

A new sound overtook the wind howls – low, steady rumbling from below. Parsee measured Yuuka with her gaze.

"Your heart is guarded well, but you are the same as them, weak, eaten by jealousy. You are not worthy of crossing my bridge."

Yuuka smiled. "Are you a heart reader? How interesting. Say, what's in her heart?"

She pointed at Hina, who froze in place. For some reason, Parsee looked surprised. "Hey, this was not-"

She cut herself off. She turned, shifted focus to Hina, her green eyes blazed bright. "Her? I don't even want to look at that soiled and worthless-"

There was a flash and sound of beam discharge, and Parsee spluttered out blood. She took a step back, clutched her chest, but couldn't quite cover the hole Yuuka just blasted in her.

"Your heart, on the other hand, is not covered well," Yuuka said. "Only one layer of ribs. Be more attentive next time."

Parsee fell back and squirmed on the ground, but didn't die. Her form split in two, just like Yuuka before, and then the halves rejoined into one, bloodied and weak, but intact shape. Parsee stood up.

"You are all unworthy," she hissed. "You do not deserve hell, only oblivion and desolation of the chaos below. I will throw you off my bridge, and you will all disappear. Arise, YuugenMagan, arise and destroy them!"

The bridge behind Parsee exploded, and a shadow stepped on it, a shadow wrapped in lighting. Five arcane eyes opened in air, and each held a floating piece of debris with its baleful gaze.

"Ah, I remember you," Yuuka said. "YuugenMagan, The One who Waits at the Threshold of Daemon World, and Molds Reality around Itself with Fragments of Border Space. I wonder, can your power be used to kill flowers? Because in that case, a duel-"

YuugenMagan attacked, a throw of each stone, a lightning blast from the middle. Yuuka shielded herself, but it wasn't enough, one particularly large boulder tore her parasol away and knocked her back. Thunder followed lightning, and more of the bridge was torn up.

Parsee declared her spell card. Even after her hateful speech, she was still willing to fight by the rules. She split in two again, her copies fired tiny and enormous green orbs. Hina countered with her own spiral spell, a simple one because of her injuries, and Shizuha supported her with her own, a homing pattern of leaf-shaped bullets.

And it was fine, for a while. It was so easy to forget, to get lost in the colorful patterns. Dodge, attack, another dodge, the world around faded, only the bullets mattered, a flow, a dance. Just like last year, right until Parsee won, right until Shizuha lost control, attacked with an orb of raw decay. She thought she could forget Parsee's scream, her wail when the bones melted, she though she could forget the stench, and the wet sound as the slimy monster formed from the mist, stepped to her, pushed her to the ground, started tearing off her clothes…

"I can not hold!" Yuuka shouted. "Attack the eyes from your angle, now!"

Shizuha turned to the shout, and watched YuugenMagan lash at the flower youkai with a steel cable. Yuuka didn't dodge, she somehow took the hits without being split in two, but every lash tore her dress and left a long bloody gash on her skin.

Parsee's halves rejoined. Another spell card, a narrow stream of crystals, they breached through Hina's pattern and hit her, threw her to the ground, knocked her out. The crystals shattered, filled the air with white orbs. Parsee turned to Shizuha.

"You and me now," Parsee said with a cruel smirk. "Just like last year. I knew you would return, been preparing for weeks, made connections, pacts with dark powers. Let's reenact the past, to the last minute detail."

She put her hand up, prepared to fire. Shizuha covered her face.

The bridge shook. A beam hit the ground near Parsee, split it in a crack, she lost her footing and fell. Around, the bridge was collapsing, huge sections breaking off and going under.

A large piece of stone got torn from under Shizuha. She tried to stay afloat, but something was pulling her down, towards the dark maelstrom below. Unconscious Hina fell alongside her, everything was crumbling, and only YuugenMagan remained above, thrashed around, fired lightning wildly.

Yuuka caught up to Shizuha. Her body was mangled, but she still held her broken parasol, and still smiled.

"Hey, I told you to win. Look what you've done," Yuuka scolded.

Shizuha blinked in confusion. "Me? No, it was not-"

"Of course it was you. Everything in your life is only your fault. Another lesson you should learn."

"Another lie of a deranged youkai," Shizuha spit. She turned away, and looked at the rapidly approaching chaos. It was not a mass, it was a hungering vortex, drawing everything towards its eye, the uselessly flailing Parsee in front, lights, bricks, crystals swirling around.

"Will this kill me?" Shizuha wondered aloud.

Yuuka made a short dash down. "What will kill you is to your left."

Shizuha turned her head, just in time to see a jagged block of reinforced concrete on collision course. In time to see, but not in time to avoid, break it with a spell, or survive the impalement by exposed armature.

Luckily, one of the spikes pierced her brain, and she didn't suffer much.

**[~ == ~]**

**[~( ,' )~]**

**[ ~ || ~ ]**


	4. Ash and rot

**Chapter 4: Ash and rot**

**[~ == ~]**

**[~( ,' )~]**

**[ ~ || ~ ]**

Shizuha returned to life. Her body ached and itched, her eyes were fused with crust. She was on her stomach, and her throat was filled with ash.

Shizuha rolled on her back, coughed, sat up. Infinite darkness surrounded her, but a light was nearby, a glowing flower that cast a circle of shadowy illumination. Shapes were at the edges of it, and, as her eyes adjusted, Shizuha recognized them – Yuuka, Parsee, Hina, all ruffed up and miserable. Shizuha examined her own blackened and torn dress, her dirty stuffed bag, and felt a pang of fear – what if the bottle of poison shattered in the fall? It was tucked well inside her blanket, but still…

Shizuha reached inside, felt the bottle around, and sighed in relief. Despite the collision, the bottle was intact, and her journey to the blazing pit could continue.

"Where are we?" Shizuha asked loudly.

The light from the flower brightened. Yuuka stepped forward. "Makai, the destroyed world. Once a wondrous land of demons and magic, now a charred pit for the worthless and pitiful. A fitting place for you."

"A fitting place for you," Shizuha mockingly echoed. Yuuka smiled.

"Hardly. Fear not, fluffy sheep, the shepherd is here to guide you to greener pastures." Yuuka turned to Hina. "You wouldn't want to die here, right?"

Hina jolted up. It looked like the question startled her. "No… I mean yes. Right. Sure."

"Alright, then." Yuuka clapped her hands. "We rested, we healed our wounds, we're all ready. Follow me, I know where to go."

The flower on the ground darkened and withered. Instead, Yuuka's bent and scratched parasol lit up, a cold, bluish white. Yuuka started walking, but Shizuha didn't move.

"She is not coming with us," Shizuha said.

"Who, Parsee? Of course she is coming with us. You are not going to condemn the poor splitter to an eternity of madness in the pitch-black ash wasteland, are you?"

"She is the youkai of jealousy. She will turn us against one another."

Yuuka started laughing. She laughed long and hard, and Shizuha couldn't help but notice how similar it sounded to Minoriko's laugh. Joyful, mirthful and condescending.

"Your lies are so awkward, so innocent," Yuuka said after awhile. "But there is no need to hide your true feelings. She already told me what happened a year ago, the whole truth. She confessed to me, begged for forgiveness, and I have forgiven. All is forgiven."

Shizuha felt like something grabbed her heart and sank claws into it, like something squeezed her lungs.

"Parsee… a year ago she… s-she… r-"

The word stuck in her throat. She couldn't voice it, she couldn't breathe. She couldn't stand, her legs gave in, she dropped on her knees.

"Raped you?" Yuuka helpfully provided. "Yes, she did, but is she guilty? Can she be held responsible for acting on her nature as a jealousy youkai _after_ you breached the spell card rules and gravely wounded her? I think not."

Shizuha felt dizzy. She wanted to scream, lash out, grab Yuuka and tear her mouth apart with her hands. She couldn't do it. She couldn't even run, there was nowhere to.

"I will kill you," Shizuha whispered. "I will kill you all."

"Even Hina? Surely she doesn't deserve to die so young, am I right?" Yuuka asked. Hina didn't reply.

Shizuha's eyes were dry. She looked up, at Hina, and the curse goddess looked back, a sorrowful look.

"I am so sorry," Hina said. "I don't know what to say or do. I can't judge Parsee, I can't punish her. All I can do is seek death with you. All I can do is free you from your suffering."

"Worthless," Shizuha said. She stood up. "I'm sick of this place, let's go. Parsee can stay with us, it's not like it can get any worse anyway."

Yuuka smiled and turned to lead the way. Hina walked closer to Shizuha, tried to hold her hand, but the autumn goddess pushed her away.

Behind them, Parsee grinned, and very quietly giggled.

**[~ == ~]**

**[~( ,' )~]**

**[ ~ || ~ ]**

They walked through blasted plains, crossed dried rivers, flew over devastated cities. Gensokyo at the end of autumn was quiet and sleepy, this place was dead silent and almost entirely devoid of life. Plants, animals, fairies – nothing existed, only scarce orbs of dark matter lazily hovered over crystallized polyps and scattered away when the living approached.

Yuuka, for all her lies, didn't lie this time. She knew where to go, lit her parasol from time to time and illuminated landmarks she deemed noteworthy. She told stories of Makai, of great palaces and mythical gardens, of festivals and daily life, but Shizuha didn't listen. The world was dead, and its past was irrelevant. She had a feeling no one else listened either.

Hours later, they reached their destination, a dark intact building hidden in the ruins. It was surrounded by a broken wrought fence and dried up remains of what used to be a hedge maze. Yuuka glided to the ground.

"The Mansion of Dreams," Yuuka said, and made a welcoming gesture. "A place of light and life, dreams and flowers. Enjoy your stay, but do not disturb the mistress."

"I though we were looking for the exit," Shizuha said. Yuuka looked displeased.

"Have you been listening at all? We could reach Shinki's dome in a day, but we need rest first."

"Right, like we needed rest on the way to the bridge. Sleeping in a wind hole with spiders sure helped us win."

Shizuha put a lot of venom in her statement, but Yuuka waved it off. "What happened at the bridge was bad luck. Fortunately for us, our luck is about to turn around, as this place is guarded well and has all we need. Elly!"

Yuuka went forward, and called for Elly a few times more. Nobody responded, and Yuuka shrugged. "Guess she's slacking off."

"Is she someone dear to you? She is dead, like the rest of this world," Shizuha said cruelly.

"This world isn't dead. Even here, life thrives, clings to the threshold of oblivion but never fades away. Life always finds a way."

"Whatever." Shizuha walked past Yuuka, towards the mansion entrance, broken stone tiles crunching at her steps. She walked to the double doors, grabbed the stylized iron flower doorknob and pulled on it. Hot, humid air rushed outside.

The lobby of the mansion was vast and dark. Yuuka walked in after Shizuha and snapped her fingers. Light came on, flickering, green, only a few magical lamps still worked. The place was obviously designed to be tastefully overgrown, but now most of the wines and plants were limp and sickly, and it was just a mess.

"Elly!" Yuuka called out. Her response was a rustling sound, hundreds of tiny wing flaps. Then, blobs poured in from the second floor, uncountable floating winged eyes. They couldn't encircle them, the wall was behind, but they filled most of the air, and silently stared.

"I'll ensure we are not surrounded," Parsee said quickly. She backed away, and shut the door behind Shizuha, Hina and Yuuka.

"Traitor," Shizuha hissed.

"Maybe she is really checking…" Hina said weakly. Shizuha glared at her with such hatred that the curse goddess backed away and covered her face.

There was a roar from outside. The door opened slightly, Parsee squeezed in, and slammed it shut behind her. "Outside is worse. There is a tank."

Shizuha scoffed. "How pathetic must you be to be scared of a water tank?"

"Quiet." Yuuka stepped forward. "I don't know who you are, but I really hope you are not about to attack us with such pitiful minions. I may not be as forgiving as usual when I am tired and in a bad mood, intruder."

There was a pause. Then, the floating eyes parted, and a huge black sphere descended from darkness above, a smooth obsidian eye. It made a quiet sound when it moved, odd and mechanical.

"I am The Eye," the eye said. "My power is to see."

"I am Yuuka Kazami, Oriental Demon, Elder Youkai, Flower Master of the Four Seasons. My power is flower control, but it extends to all plant life, and life in general. I am proficient in all kinds of magic, from world-altering rituals to instantly devastating Sparks. I am the rightful owner of this mansion, and these are my slaves, leaf-painter, flypaper and splitter."

"She is a weak and old liar," Shizuha said. "We are not her slaves. Hina, tell her-"

She turned to Hina and stopped. Hina was crying, quietly, soundlessly, crying and trembling. Shizuha couldn't understand why, but she didn't want to understand at the moment. With a growl, she turned back.

"I saw you on the paintings," The Eye said. "I apologize for my intrusion, but your abode was abandoned and neglected, and I meant no harm. I tried to preserve the plants, but what I can do is limited. Once again, I apologize-"

"What do you mean, abandoned and neglected," Yuuka interrupted. "Have you not seen them? A gatekeeper in red, carries a scythe, and a child-"

Yuuka abruptly stopped. She walked forward, fast. The Eye pulled back, it dared not to attack. Yuuka rushed upstairs, disappeared from view. There was silence. The small floating eyes dispersed.

"Have I offended her?" The Eye asked. "Have I offended you, crying one?"

"You are human," Parsee suddenly said. "I can see your jealousy, it seeps through your armor, jealousy for the healthy and strong. You are weak, like a snail in a shell. Come out, show us your juicy snail flesh."

The Eye stared. Then, it hissed, a hiss of steam, and the front of it slid up, revealed a chair inside, a gaunt, almost skeletal woman. Her hair was ratty and greasy brown, she wore a dirty hospital gown. Tubes stuck out of her arms, went under her clothes. There was a clear mask over her mouth and nose, it was connected by a tube too.

"I do not fear you," the woman said. Her breath was ragged and weak, but her voice remained booming and strong, amplified by the machine. "I am Rika the engineer."

Parsee brightened up. "Finally I meet someone less fortunate than me! Call me Parsee, this is Hina, do not approach her, you'll get cursed, and this is Shizuha. She's… special."

"Shut up, Parsee," Shizuha spit. "This is a waste of time. Show me where I can sleep, and tomorrow we will be out of here, out of this rotten world."

"What a daunting task, to seek escape." Rika's hollow orb floated closer. "Unfortunately, this is impossible. Shinki doesn't allow anyone to leave."

"Then we will break her spine and force her."

"Oh, bold. Perhaps you can take me with you? The air in this place is not good for my lungs."

Parsee chuckled. "It's not bravery, she is desperate and hateful. She thinks Yuuka will do everything for her now, as Hina didn't live up to her great expectations."

Shizuha growled, and Rika put her arms up. "Now, now, let us not fight. I see you traveled far, so let us all get some rest and discuss this again tomorrow. Follow me, the guest rooms are on the second floor."

They all ascended the stairs, by that point Hina managed to control herself. They reached the second floor hallway. Yuuka was there, she stood in front of one of the rooms, silently stood in front of an open doorway, and stared inside.

"Ah, the sealed room. I couldn't open it, the wards were too strong. It is the mistress of the mansion who holds the spell key." Rika floated towards the open doorway and peered inside. She immediately backed away.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me," Rika said quickly. The black orb flew back to the stairs, fast.

Shizuha walked towards Yuuka, and sensed a faint smell of rot on approach. She moved closer, and looked inside the room.

It was dimly lit by magic stars glued to the ceiling. A girl's room for sure, very pink, full of stuffed animals and scattered toys.

A skeletal corpse was on the floor, a faded red dress clinging to the bones, an odd inversely-edged scythe piercing through its midsection. The corpse had blond hair once, it was intricately curled once, not anymore. Another dead body on the bed, covered by a blanket, faded green hair, a cracked oversized clock in the skeletal hands.

"Aw, Elly is taking a little nap, how sweet," Shizuha cooed. "Say, Yuuka, what can these two corpses teach us about the triumph of life?"

"Out," Yuuka growled. She slammed the door shut. "Out, all of you!"

"A place of dreams, light and flowers!" Shizuha exclaimed. "A place where life thrives!"

Shizuha expected to be torn apart on the spot, but Yuuka didn't move.

"Out of my sight," Yuuka said evenly. "You don't want me to lose control."

"Oh no, the mistress is upset! Something bad is going to happen! What could it be? Are you going to drag us all to the dungeon, where you will-"

Shizuha didn't finish, as Parsee jumped to her, grabbed and slammed her head into the wall. It didn't kill Shizuha or knock her out, but the pain was enough. Shizuha stopped talking, and Parsee dragged her away.

Yuuka turned to Hina. The face of the flower youkai was absolutely calm, horrendously so. "You too."

"I'm sorry," Hina said. She bowed and hurried away.

"Wait." Hina stopped, and Yuuka continued. "I want you to know something. I figured out your secret, I despise it, I resent it and you for your decision, but I will not interfere. You are free to do however you like, as long as it is not inside or close to the mansion."

"Thank you," Hina said without turning. She ran down the corridor.

Yuuka stood before the locked room. She stood for a long time, until the building went quiet, until the last floorboard creaks and wing flaps faded in silence.

And then, she took a step forward, pressed her forehead against the door, and silently wept.

**[~ == ~]**

**[~( ,' )~]**

**[ ~ || ~ ]**

Shizuha woke up and looked at the many wall clocks. The time of day was past midday, but time of day was irrelevant in the world of eternal darkness.

The goddess crawled out of her blanket. She refused to sleep on the bed, it was soggy with dripping juices of ceiling flower decorations. Parsee didn't shove Shizuha into this particular room on purpose, it wasn't better or worse than any other room, the whole building was sick, oozed fluids and rot.

Shizuha rolled her blanket and tucked the god-poison in the middle, crammed the blanket into the bag, yawned. Her dream had been highly unremarkable, definitely unworthy of a dream to be had in the Mansion of Dreams – she dreamed of buying shoes with Minoriko. The shoes didn't fit. Her sister laughed. It was frustrating, not symbolic in any way, and Shizuha did her best to push it out of her mind.

The room had a mirror, and Shizuha examined herself. She didn't feel well-rested, she felt weaker actually, but her appearance indicated otherwise – her minor gashes were gone, her dress repaired itself, and the maple leaves in her hair were perky and fresh. A spot of light crossed her reflection, it came from the window. Pale green light, Yuuka's light, Yuuka was outside. Shizuha cringed and left the room.

There was a plate and a cup on the floor, boiled vegetables on the plate, murky liquid in the cup. Shizuha felt a pinch of hunger, saliva filled her mouth, but she spit it out, she would not eat Yuuka's filth. She did drink the water though, and it was unpleasant, the aftertaste was that of dirty grass. Shizuha thought of vomiting it out, but decided it wasn't worth it.

She walked down the crimson corridor and reached the stairs to the first floor. Rika was in the lobby, inside of her open floating sphere, reading a book. Shizuha descended the stairway.

"You ready?" Shizuha asked. "I'm ready, so let's go and get to that Shinki already."

Rika closed the book. "Good morning to you too. Did you sleep well? Was my cooking adequate?"

Shizuha didn't answer. She demonstratively walked pass the orb and towards the massive doors.

"I didn't sleep that well tonight," Rika said. "I've been thinking a lot about my illness, my life, my future, and the upcoming fight. I decided that I am not going with you."

Shizuha didn't turn or slow down. "I expected this much. Rot here, coward, I don't care."

She almost reached the door, but a few dozen floating eyes dashed from above and blocked her way. Shizuha scowled and turned. "Do you want me to hurt you? Because I will."

"This place has a library. I found a book on gods of Gensokyo and read about you. You have a smaller entry than your sister, but it was still a very interesting read."

"Fascinating. Delay me further, and I will kill you."

Rika laughed weakly, disabled the voice amplifier when she did so.

"I am not joking," Shizuha said.

"You haven't killed a single human in your entire life. When autumn ends, you become sad and depressed, and sometimes destroy yourself, but always return next season, your sister pulls you through. It's who you are, a symbol of loneliness and despair, but not of the end and death."

Shizuha breathed heavily. She raised her arm, and pointed at Rika. It was an obstacle in her way. It had to be removed. It had to be annihilated.

Nothing happened. Over the mansion, the functioning clocks struck once. Shizuha dropped her arm and slumped her shoulders.

"I know it can be rough," Rika said. "I know pain, I know despair, but still I live on, and think life is worth living. Fighting Shinki is extremely dangerous, so please reconsider."

Shizuha smiled a crooked smile. "What do you know, cripple? What do you know of despair? Only I know it, all of it, the humans of Gensokyo pour it into me at every end of autumn, boundless sadness. The year is over. Ahead, only darkness and cold. Ahead, the endless winter, the season of death. The end."

"And then, spring comes."

"Of course!" Shizuha threw her arms up. "You've opened my eyes! With a few simple words, you have undone the past, and made me a new, better person, done what my sister couldn't do for years, done what other, greater gods couldn't do! The genius human engineer has fixed everything! I am reborn!"

Shizuha pointed at the door. "And what do you know of them? Have you read a book on them too? They are monsters, wretched and rabid beasts. If I am leading them to death, so be it. Let me go."

A few lights at the inside of the sphere lit up, there was a beep, and clear liquid filled the tubes leading to Rika's stomach. Rika shifted uncomfortably.

"There is always a choice," she said. "Stay in the mansion, and your followers won't reach you with their prayers, with their sadness. Stay in Makai, and live like a mortal. Stay in Makai-"

"And die anyway," Shizuha interrupted. "Only slowly, live and die like you. I refuse."

She turned towards the door, and fired a blast of energy at it. It was weak, and the floating eyes scattered, unharmed. Shizuha stomped out.

Outside, a peculiar scene unfolded. The courtyard was dominated by a huge tracked war machine, its domed turret painted in a yin-yang pattern, overgrown with vibrant magical vines. The vines moved, pumped glowing energy around. The whole vehicle was covered in flowers, and looked very festive.

Yuuka stood in front of the left track, her parasol glowing. Hina was way to the side, spinning alone, and Parsee was on her hands and knees in front of Yuuka, squirming and whimpering.

"Yuuuukaaaa," Parsee moaned.

Yuuka lifted her foot and gracefully stepped on Parsee's head, dirtying her blond hair with ash. "Beg louder."

"Yuuu~"

"What is going on here?" Shizuha demanded. "What is this?"

"Just a little game," Yuuka said with a smile. She looked like she usually did, as if yesterday never happened. "Parsee here asked to ride inside the tank with me, and to protect her against the infinitely scary Shinki. I agreed, but on one condition – she would have to realistically beg, and lose all dignity while doing so. Now, cry."

Parsee started crying, and shaking uncontrollably. Shizuha was at a loss for words.

"What… what is this… what are you doing?" Shizuha stumbled. "Stop it."

"Why? It's fun. Cry louder."

"Waaaa~"

"No!" Shizuha shouted. "Stop it! This isn't right! This isn't a game! I want her broken for real, I want her to beg for real, I want her to cough out her dying words in front of me for real! Stop this farce! Hina, do something!"

Hina kept spinning.

"I'm so worthless," Parsee whimpered. "I am nothing, I've always been nothing. My bridge is gone, I have no friends, I'm all alone, I'm so alone. Yuuka, please, be my mistress, save me, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die…"

"Good!" Yuuka smiled widely. "Now, be more pathetic."

Parsee grabbed the brim of Yuuka's dress and looked up with tearful eyes. "Please, Yuuka. I will do anything for you. I will be your slave forever. I will lick your shoes, I will let you put me on a leash, just don't let me die here."

"Amazing! This is very convincing. Now, be creative. Impress me."

Parsee pulled herself up a bit. "Yuuka, I said I would do anything. I would…"

Her voice dropped to a whisper, and Shizuha couldn't hear what she was saying anymore. Yuuka's expression changed, it became an odd mix of disgust and arousal. She stroked Parsee's cheek.

"You are so cute!" Yuuka exclaimed. "Alright, I'll prioritize your survival in the upcoming fight."

Parsee stopped crying. She let go of Yuuka's dress, stood up, dusted off her hair and dress. She turned to Shizuha and grinned. "What's the matter? Jealous?"

Shizuha felt like she was going to lose consciousness. She swayed back, and bumped her head on the armor of Rika's floating sphere.

"Oh, sorry. You blocked the doorway."

Shizuha hissed and changed her position to keep everyone in sight. "Are we done being insane already? Can we go?"

"Sure," Yuuka said. "As we discussed earlier, we are taking the tank and as many of the floating eyes as Parsee can control. Any objections, flower engineer?"

"No, not at all. It is a great honor for me to see my invention used this way, and likewise a great honor to be accepted as the new custodian of the Mansion of Dreams." Rika did a small bow, as much as her sitting position and tubes allowed.

"Don't get too comfortable, once I move it to Gensokyo I'm kicking you out," Yuuka said without malice. "I will return with the ritual in a month or so. In the meantime, don't die."

"I won't."

"Alright!" Yuuka clapped her hands, and jumped on top of the tank. It came to life, growled and shook, and rumbled steadily. "Let this moment stand as the testament of the perseverance of life. Let this moment be bright! To the triumph of life!"

Her parasol flashed, and for a moment, the darkness dispersed, they were in a blooming garden, and the mansion was fresh-painted and new, there was a gatekeeper at the doorstep, a girl in red, an inversely sharpened scythe in her hands. For a moment, the whole world was alive.

Shizuha spit on the ground. "All fake, this illusion could only fool the blind. Have you already forgotten, Yuuka? The room, the corpses, have you forgotten? They are still there. Still there, waiting for you. Why are they dead, Yuuka? Why are they dead?"

The light faded, to almost complete darkness. There was a clang, and Rika's sphere closed, it was a solid eye again. It hastily pulled back from Shizuha, and Parsee ran too, and Hina was still far, far away, silently spinning.

"It's been too long," Yuuka said slowly. "I've killed you so many times over the years, it has become a habit, a chore. However, this time I am going to enjoy it a lot. Oh yes."

The turret rotated, and the barrel pointed at Shizuha. She realized it was going to hurt a lot, but still she smiled. She hurt Yuuka more, after all.

"Why are they dead?" Shizuha asked.

The tank fired, and the shell slammed into Shizuha's stomach, tore through her spine and hit the ground behind her. It exploded, and Shizuha died.

She returned to life some time later. She was lying on the ground, and the first thing she saw was a shadow over her, and the first thing she heard was a screech of moving tracks, loud, too loud, and the first thing she felt was the piercing pain as the tank crushed her, legs first.

And Shizuha died again.

**[~ == ~]**

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	5. Death of a god

**Chapter 5: Death of a god**

**[~ == ~]**

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Shizuha returned to life. It took her some time to understand why the ground was vibrating, and why the world was so nauseating and loud – she was lying on top of the moving tank, behind the faintly glowing black-white turret. Hina was sitting next to her, humming something quietly. Shizuha sat up, and Hina went silent.

The silence dragged. "What are you looking at?" Shizuha asked, annoyed.

"It's nothing. I didn't want to ask dumb questions."

"Good. Are we there yet?"

Hina looked around. "We are still moving, so…"

"Where's Yuuka?"

"Inside." Parsee walked in from around the turret. Her eyes glowed bright, and so did irises of the winged orbs around her. "She is rather upset, and told me to fill you in on the battle plan."

"I am not listening to you," Shizuha said defiantly.

Parsee leaned on the turret. "How childish can you be? This is serious. Shinki is not going to fight with spell cards, she is like Yuuka, only older, more powerful, and even more fucked up in the head. You saw Yuuka, she lost something precious to her in that mansion, but Shinki lost everything, the whole world. Your despair is nothing compared to hers."

"What do you know of despair?" Shizuha asked cruelly. "What do you know of life? What important ever happened to you? What-"

One of the floating eyes fired a narrow beam, grazing Shizuha's ear. She yelped and grabbed it, Hina stepped between Shizuha and Parsee, but there were no more attacks. Parsee pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Look," Parsee said. "This place has no sun, and Yuuka is weakening. We don't do this on the first try, she is going to ditch us and find a wormhole out on her own. And we will stay here, until our dying day, breathing ash and eating gruel. Don't know about you, I did nothing to deserve this."

"Yes you did," Shizuha said. "Yes you did."

Parsee chuckled and looked at her fingernails. Shizuha felt rising rage, but breathed in and managed to contain it. There was no point in dying again.

"Anyway, here's the important part, remember it well," Parsee said. "Everyone has a weakness, that one nerve you pinch to get them angry and start making mistakes. But pinch too hard, and people lose their shit, go berserk. We _don't_ want Shinki to lose her shit, so Yuuka will do the talking, and you two will keep quiet. Do you know why Makai burned?"

"No," Shizuha said. Hina shook her head.

There was sudden silence. Parsee's eyes widened, and then she started laughing. She laughed hard, hit the turret with her palm. Shizuha ground her teeth and waited.

Parsee pushed the black dot on the yin-yang turret and the hatch opened. "Can you believe it?" she shouted inside. "They don't even know!"

"Oh my, such luck!" Yuuka's voice sounded genuinely happy. "Don't linger then, get under armor. We're almost at the palace ruins, ten minutes until the dome."

Parsee grinned and jumped inside, and the turret closed. The glowing floating eyes remained, and joined the others at some distance from the tank.

"Once upon a time, there lived a lady in a tower made of crystal," Hina said quietly, without turning. "Her name was Shinki, and she had a power to make dreams real. She dreamed of cities, magic, powerful beings. She created a world, and named it Makai."

"You know," Shizuha said. "You lied to Parsee."

"I lied a lot," Hina said. "Or rather, stayed quiet a lot."

The tank rattled and made a turn. The ground was bumpy here, littered with pieces of crystal, tiny and huge. A light appeared in the distance, bright white light.

"One day, the lady learned that she was not alone, there were other worlds, other dreamers. A world nearby, Gensokyo. She moved Makai closer, and her creations, her children crossed the border."

"What is her weakness?" Shizuha impatiently asked.

"A lone shrine maiden entered Makai. She made it all the way to the crystal tower, carnage and death in her wake. She challenged Shinki to a duel, and they battled. The shrine maiden won."

The source of bright light became visible. It was a glowing dome supported by intricate arches. The tank drove towards the largest arch.

"'You are a demon," the shrine maiden said. 'I am going to exterminate you,' the shrine maiden said. But Shinki didn't want to be exterminated. She didn't want to die. She sacrificed her world, she attacked with such force that even the air burned."

"That doesn't answer my question," Shizuha said. "Is her weakness shrine maidens? You are acting weird. Turn to me when you are speaking."

"But the shrine maiden didn't die. She was horrified by what happened. 'It was a joke,' she said. 'You didn't have to,' she said. She ran away, and Shinki remained alone, forever. She couldn't dream anymore. The end."

Frustrated, Shizuha bit her lip, circled Hina to face her. "What's wrong with you? Do you know her weakness or not?"

Hina shook her head. "I am sorry."

"You are worse than them." Shizuha pointed at the turret. "They are like attack dogs, biting me, tearing my flesh, but you, you are useless weight. I can't shake them, but once we are back in Gensokyo, I'm leaving you behind. Until then, don't talk to me."

Hina's expression changed strangely, it was a smile, but at the same time it was not. Yuuka smiled like that, but behind Yuuka's smile was cruelty, and behind Hina's smile was pain. She struggled with herself, she obviously wanted to say something… and she didn't. She silently nodded and turned away.

"Good," Shizuha said. "I like you better this way."

The tank drove under the arch. The dome was bright, a circle a hundred steps to walk across, and a lone dark figure was in the middle, on the throne of crystal.

The tank moved forward, a strange sound as it crushed crystal needles that covered the floor. It sounded almost like screaming. Shizuha looked down, and saw they drove not over needles, the tank crushed buildings, parks, crowds of tiny crystal people. Shizuha took flight, and moved away from the vehicle. Hina followed her.

The tank stopped a fair distance from the throne. A woman was sitting on it, a woman dressed in all black, her blue hair in a single side ponytail, her eyes – glazed over, crystals reflected in them.

"Salutations, Shinki!" Yuuka called out, her voice distorted and artificial. "What a beautiful evening to greet the weary travelers with a feast and a song, and what a beautiful night to send them on their way! You look great in black, by the way!"

"I know you," Shinki said, her voice flat and tired. Her eyes followed devastation behind the tank. "You are Yuuka Kazami. You are destroying my world."

"Genocide is just another pastime for me, remember? Wake up, demon goddess, if I'd want to listen to someone morose and loopy, I have leaf-painter right here. Wake up!"

Shinki shook her head. "I am not sleeping, I am not-"

The tank fired, and the shell exploded in front of Shinki, shattered against an octagonal energy barrier. The blast wave went sideways, burned another swath of destruction in the crystal world. Shinki jerked, startled, and her eyes lost their glaze, turned deep blue. She stood up, took defensive stance, focused on Shizuha and Hina.

"Foreign gods, malicious invaders. A cancerous cyst of poison, and a barbed head of a tapeworm, its bloated body hidden away. Do you intend to destroy me? You shall not succeed."

"Nonsense! We are simple travelers! Now let us out, we are tired!" Yuuka exclaimed.

"I am not deaf," Shinki said coldly. "And you are not leaving, nobody leaves Makai, not until Makai is reborn. You are destined to see its rebirth from the inside, with your own eyes."

Yuuka turned the volume down. "Then where is it, your reborn world? You've been sitting here for what, a decade? Stop being lazy."

"I am building a perfect model first," Shinki said, and gestured around. "You just destroyed years of my work. I will punish you."

"Oh no, I am so scared." Yuuka, even through the amplifier, sounded sarcastic. "We all know you're a big softie, and don't kill anyone. What's the worst the creature of infinite kindness can do?"

Shinki raised her arm, and a thin black beam slammed into the tank, burned through the armor in a heartbeat. The vehicle exploded from the inside, the turret burst, and Yuuka and Parsee crawled out of the burning wreck, coughing.

"Vermin," Shinki said. "Insects. I shall crush you."

Yuuka laughed, a coughing, hacking laugh. "My, you have issues! Forget Parsee, _you _and Shizuha would make a perfect couple. Hey, how about after the battle, you and her spend some time together? She'll tell you about how she paints leaves, and you will show her a few of your dreams. Misery loves company, and besides-"

Yuuka attacked, a sudden, unexpected strike, a white beam. It slammed into Shinki's shields, revealed them, layers upon layers of multicolored defensive spells, started chewing through. Parsee joined in, her crystal spell card, beams from the floating eyes. Shinki reeled back, and Hina joined in with her spirals, Shizuha joined with her leaves, a devastating combined attack.

Shinki waved her arm, and everything disappeared, the beams, the bullets. Her shields stitched back up.

"I am invincible," Shinki said. "This is boring."

"Oh." Yuuka scratched her head. "In this case, I suggest another challenge, giant crystal bee racing. Five laps around former Rhenium, Osmium and Iridium spell towers."

Shinki glared.

"No? Then perhaps a personal challenge. You see, a flower-"

"SHUT UP!" Shizuha screamed. "All of you, shut up! I've had enough! I've had enough of delays, enough of your whining and lies! I will die! You will all die! Everything dies! DIE!"

She pointed at Shinki. Why her first, she didn't know, she was beyond logic, beyond reason. Her hatred, her frustration, she focused it on her, and this time it burst through, this time it fired, a non-spellcard, a sphere of decay. It flew from her open palm, spun, ate through the shields one by one.

And Shinki, a true goddess, a millennia-old being, she was surprised. It was not possible for the weakling in front of her to launch such an attack, it was not possible for her shields to collapse so easily, things like that simply didn't happen, not in her world, not in her dream. She froze in place, the wobbling sphere closed in, breached the final spell barrier and touched her cheek.

It popped, and slightly singed the skin. That was it.

Parsee started laughing. Yuuka laughed with her, doubled over, held her stomach, and suddenly fired a beam again, but Shinki's shields were back up already, they held. Yuuka kept laughing as if nothing happened.

Hina didn't laugh, she mournfully looked away.

Shinki didn't laugh either. She raised her arm. "You are dangerous," she said. "Dangerous to me, and my world. Begone."

Reality bent around Shizuha. The air wobbled, grew uncountable tiny arms. She tried to back away, scream, but the arms grabbed her and she fell somewhere, fell forward, into the spinning darkness of the void.

**[~ == ~]**

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Light. Light and cold, soft cold. Snow?

Shizuha opened her eyes. She was lying on her back, under overcast Gensokyo sky. Snow was falling lazily. Winter has come.

She slowly stood up, and looked around. A snowy field, not far from the foot of Youkai Mountain, not far from her home. A torn strap was on the ground, the strap from her bag, but the bag was gone, lost between worlds, and the poison was lost with it. She failed again.

Shizuha felt tired. Her hatred vanished, she released it all, burned it all in that final attack. Why Shinki? Why not Parsee? The bridge youkai deserved it more, but perhaps she deserved worse. She remained in Makai, like Yuuka, like Hina. Was it justice? Was it fair?

Shizuha shook her head. She was too tired to think. She would return home, go to bed, and it would all somehow work itself out.

She took flight, slowly, groggily. Just like last… no, she didn't want to remember last year specifically. Just like most years. The snow fell, the autumn was over, and there were no more reasons to die.

She flew over snow-covered forests and plains. Ice fairies were out, just born anew, laughing and playing, chasing one another around. Yuuka, if she was here, would say some nonsense about life at this point. Good riddance, Shizuha lazily thought.

She made it home, and knocked. Her sister opened, and smiled.

"Hey. You look awful," Minoriko said.

"That time of the year again, to look awful. New apron?"

Minoriko straightened it, the cloth was bright purple and adorned with pumpkin designs. "I see you like it. It's pumpkin season this year, I baked the pie as promised."

They sat at the table and ate. Minoriko kept saying something, telling stories, but Shizuha didn't listen. She was extremely tired, and nearly fell asleep with food in her mouth. The pie was good, as always.

"I'm going to bed," Shizuha said eventually. "See you in spring."

Minoriko pouted. "Spring again? I get lonely sometimes, you know."

Shizuha waved it off. Her sister would be just fine without her around.

Shizuha made it upstairs, changed to her yellow pajamas. She looked in the mirror, and she indeed looked awful, not much more than a skeleton bound with skin. Just like last… most years.

She crawled into the bed and closed her eyes. What dreams would she see? Would her despair return? Of course it would, and she would act stupid again, and alienate others again. And winter would come, and all would turn out just fine. Just fine…

"Wake up."

Startled, Shizuha snapped her eyes open, sat up. There was something else in the room, a presence. A shadow over her bed, a shapeless spinning shadow.

"What?" Shizuha asked, terrified. "Who… I know you. I've met you before."

"It's me, Hina," the shadow said. The room rippled, and the next moment it was indeed Hina, but she looked strange, too clean, no ash or damage on her clothes, she looked like when they first met. She sat on the corner of the bed.

"There isn't much time," Hina said. "We are all still at the dome, Shinki trapped us all in a spell, in a dream. She is able to control it, but not perfectly, I was strong enough to escape here, and you are strong enough to break out. Shinki may seem invincible, but it is all a well-crafted lie, she is slow, she still has the body of a mortal, a demon. Kill her, and Makai dies with her."

This was wrong, somehow. Shizuha remembered what happened, remembered what she did, what she wanted, but couldn't remember why. Why did she want everyone dead? It made no sense.

"I don't want to destroy Makai," Shizuha said. "I am not a murderer, and you are not Hina. You are some darkness youkai that took her form. Go away."

Hina sighed. "I am what I am, what I always was. Remember how Yuuka called me flypaper? Flypaper, how fitting."

Hina spread her arms, and the ribbons moved, danced, changed. Flies started covering her dress, her hair, her face.

"Hina is not flypaper," Shizuha said. "She is a goddess like me. She if full of curses and misfortune inside, but is cheerful and naive on the outside, and I don't like her much because of that clash, but it is who she is, and you are not her. Take your true form, youkai."

The flies vanished. Hina winced, concentrated, rolled up her sleeve. Her shape wobbled and changed, ash and scratches appeared, and it became obvious that one arm was broken recently, that the neck was stitched with copper wire. It was Hina, the real Hina, and Shizuha pulled back, horrified.

"I am flypaper," Hina said. "I am not a true goddess, I am a doll that is animated by faith. I collect curses like flypaper collects flies. And when flypaper becomes covered in them, it is thrown away."

"No," Shizuha whispered.

Hina stood up. "It isn't evil, it is how the world works. A new curse collector will be made, and probably called Hina Kagiyama too. Don't mourn for me, I am the death seeker on a quest most noble, a quest to rid Gensokyo of curses and spiritual filth."

"I… we can…"

"We can not." Hina walked to the window. "It can't be helped. It is my fate to die in Makai, spread the curses there so they don't dirty Gensokyo anymore. The last two days were difficult for me, I thought a hundred times of ending my life with a spell or a blade, but I had promises to keep, to Yuuka and to you. I will keep my word and help you die. Stall Shinki until I overload my core. Wake up."

"We don't have to die!" Shizuha shouted. She tried to reach for Hina, but the room rippled again, and she couldn't move. "We don't have to die. Let's surrender to Shinki, beg for forgiveness, live in Yuuka's mansion for a while, where human despair and curses can't reach us!"

Hina smiled sadly, shook her head. "I knew you'd say something like this… but no. This isn't the real you, your happiness here is false, you will realize it the moment you return to reality. You, me, Yuuka, Parsee, Rika, Shinki, we are soiled, unclean, to live further for us all is a sin. End it all, Shizuha. Kill the world."

"No!"

Hina opened the window, and instead of winter cold, darkness crashed in, darkness and ash. It flooded the floor, reached higher, over the bed, started to cover Shizuha, got into her nostrils, her throat.

"I can see them both from here," Hina said. The black torrent was eating through her, but she didn't back away from the window, she didn't cover her eyes, kept looking outside. "Another me, another you, they are together, under the last bared tree of Gensokyo, laughing and crying, and their future is cold, yet full of hope. Such a beautiful dream..."

Hina smiled. The darkness devoured her.

Shizuha tried to scream, but ash choked her, she panicked, gasped for air, and woke up.

**[~ == ~]**

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Shizuha was on her knees, bound by golden spell chains. A magic circle was around her, the glyphs rotated and sparkled. Others were bound in a similar way, a sleeping row in front of Shinki's throne. The creator of Makai waved her hand lazily, as if conducting a concert for sloths, and the sleeping ones moved slightly, followed her gestures. Shizuha's awakening was noticed right away.

"You broke the spell. What's the matter, didn't like the pie? I baked the best one your memories held."

Shizuha felt anger clotting in her throat. Hina was right, nothing had changed in reality.

"Why this?" Shizuha asked. "You could have killed us all."

"I shall, soon. I am simply savoring the moment of victory."

Shinki waved her hand at the kneeling Parsee, and Parsee moaned quietly, a moan of pleasure. Shizuha felt sick, but she needed to endure it, she needed to stall, keep Shinki occupied.

"What dream does she see?" Shizuha asked, feigning interest as best as she could. "Is it a happy dream?"

Shinki smiled thinly. "Of course it is. I am a kind and merciful goddess, I let my enemies die happy. She dreams of her past, distant past, when she was still a human. Her lover marries another woman, and she swears revenge. She meets a priest, and he tells her to paint her face red and stand for twenty days under the bridge, waist-deep in water. She'd have her revenge, then."

"And she dies, and becomes a hateful and weak youkai, and kills her lover," Shizuha said. Shinki smiled again. She seemed to be interested in conversation.

"Not in her dream. In her dream, he notices her absence. He searches for her, finds her, visits her every day under the bridge, brings her food. In the end, he is impressed by her effort so much, he leaves his new wife. And they escape, and have lots and lots of happy sex."

Shinki turned her wrist, and Parsee moaned again, moved her hips slightly. The crystal floor under her was wet.

"How shallow," Shizuha said.

"Humans are shallow."

There was silence. Shizuha looked down, at the tiny crystal people near her knees. They were agitated, pointed up. She crushed a lot of them. It felt good.

"Kill her," Shizuha growled. "I want to see her die. Turn her dream into a nightmare first, torture her in front of me. I want to see her suffer, beg for her life, cry."

"You demand something of me? No, I will not appease your whims. I will do what I want, my world, my choices, my decisions. You do not have a say in this."

Shinki stood up from her throne, walked towards the moaning Parsee. She opened her hand, and a crystal sword formed in it, a heavy and flat executioner's sword. Shinki gripped it tightly with one hand.

"Observe my infinite mercy," Shinki said. Before Shizuha could take a breath, the sword went up and down, severed Parsee's head, and before it hit the ground Shinki fired a black beam, and the youkai was gone, a dispersing cloud of ash where she was.

Shizuha blinked. "What, that's it?"

"Yes."

Shizuha felt tears choking her, tears of rage. After all Parsee had done, this was it? This was the retribution? It was not enough!

"No," Shizuha said. "It can't be true. Parsee can't die this easily, she tricked you. She split in two, you only killed her half."

Shinki frowned. "You dare doubt me? I killed her. I am Makai, I see all in Makai, I saw you arrive, I listened to your every word and thought, I watched over Rika's shoulder as she read your encyclopedia entry. I am only humoring you because of the story the doll told you on top of the tank, the story of a lady in the crystal tower, a lady who was weak, who lost, who could no longer dream. I am not her."

Shinki moved towards Yuuka. "I will kill Yuuka next, then Hina, then you. I create with one hand and destroy with the other, I am the beginning and the end, I am the One True God. Witness my mercy."

Shinki lifted her sword.

"Wait." Shizuha licked her cracked lips. "Tell me her dream first, I want to know."

The blade fell, tore into Yuuka's neck. It didn't sever her head, there was too much bone, too much muscle to chew through. Blood spurted out, and Yuuka opened her eyes, tried to turn her head, tried to scream.

Shinki pulled the blade out and struck again, and this time, the blade cleaved through, and Yuuka's head detached. Shinki delayed the blast, gathered more power for it, and Shizuha saw it all, the twitching, the gushing blood, and Yuuka's head stopped silently screaming, looked up at Shinki. Her lips moved, she tried to say something.

A black beam turned Yuuka's body to ash.

"S-she can split too, s-she is hiding somewhere," Shizuha stuttered. She was running out of time, and Hina was in no hurry to do anything, the doll kept dreaming, a smile on her face.

"She was weak," Shinki said, pointing at Yuuka's remains. "She was a dreamer too, one of many in the World of Dreams, but her imagination was dull, she could only dream of one mansion, one building. Her servants were not her creations, just hired thugs."

Shinki circled the stain, put the sword on her shoulder. "She tried to dream up a person, but could not, so she started to experiment with herself, her own essence, split and merge, split again. Her creations died one by one, until one survived. Do you know how creatively she called it?"

Shizuha shook her head. At least Shinki was talking, although she seemed to lose her temper as she talked.

"Yuuka. She named her 'Yuuka', this is how imaginative she was. Little Yuuka was always sick, and couldn't survive away from the building, but she dreamed well, better than her creator. She liked clocks."

There was a sound, a weird one, very quiet and sharp. Shizuha glanced at Hina, and saw a tiny crack on her face, a crack on porcelain, and something dark pulsated beneath. Shinki didn't seem to notice.

"Yuuka wanted more power for her frail creation, so she moved her mansion between worlds, moved it here. I greeted her warmly, and offered to help, but there was no helping that stillborn dream, it remained weak and sickly. And then Makai burned."

"But the mansion didn't burn."

"It's not the point," Shinki said angrily. "She was strong enough to put up a fire ward, big deal. Makai burned, the magic was gone, and Yuuka could no longer move the mansion anywhere, her splinter would not survive the second transfer. She escaped, abandoned everyone inside. Years passed, little Yuuka died, and her last guard died at her side. An honorable suicide."

Shinki finished with venomous disdain, and spit on Yuuka's stain.

"And then?" Shizuha asked. Not because she wanted to know, she knew perfectly well, it was to hide the cracking sound, the cracks spread, the air became energized.

"And then?" Shinki echoed. "Then Yuuka returned to Makai and died by my hand, happy, seeing the most beautiful dream, the dream of the present. She returns here, and the world is bright and sunny, it's spring, she walks through the door of her mansion, cherry petals in her hair, and her little girl cries "mommy!" and leaps into her arms, hugs her. And they live happily ever after."

"You suffocated a child," Shizuha said. "You must be very proud."

"No!" Shinki shouted. "It's not my fault! It's her own fault for being so weak, fault of the shrine maiden, fault of the magic with which dream worlds are built!"

"It's your fault," Shizuha repeated, smiling cruelly. "Everything is only your fault."

"No!" Shinki raised her sword. "Silence, you insolent whelp! I am Shinki, the Goddess of Makai, the Infinite Being! Fear me! Fear-"

Hina's body exploded, a black and purple burst. Like from a disturbed snake nest, curses rushed out, fluid, oily things. They coiled, spiraled, like spiders they leaped and bit. Shinki screamed, flailed her arms, dropped the sword, but curses spread only further, burned through the magic shields, through Shizuha's restraints.

Shizuha stood up. Slowly, calmly she removed the bottle of poison from her bag. She opened the bottle and walked towards the panicking Shinki.

"I will kill you, and destroy your putrid dream," Shizuha said. Shinki turned, regained her posture, cleared the air around her with a wind blast.

"Many tried, and many failed. A weakling like you-"

Shizuha threw the bottle forward. Shinki instinctively put her arm in defense, and the poison splashed on it, on her face, ate thought the skin, flesh, bone.

Shinki screamed, recoiled from Shizuha. Six white wings unfolded behind her back, and she covered herself with them, hid her ruined arm, her ruined face. The light flickered, the dome above cracked, and large pieces of crystal fell down, crushed the tiny cities below.

"The final obstacle on my path." Shizuha pointed at the white figure. "Disappear."

A blast of decay, a familiar attack, but this time, there were no shields to pierce, this time, only flesh, and the wings rotted, and Shinki's whole midsection rotted, the decay exposed ribs, ate through demonic bone, to the pulsating organs underneath, and Shinki screamed, and Shizuha cruelly smiled.

It would be over soon, Shizuha realized. She would die a heroic death, she'd destroy a true elder evil. It's what Hina would have wanted. It's what she, herself, could only dream of. The ground shook, the tiny world around started crumbling, the light started fading…

And then Shinki didn't die.

The torn wings turned black. The rot of the flesh stopped, the ribcage and outer organ lining is where it would reach. The curses froze in air. The dome didn't collapse.

"I am often regarded as the kindest demon in existence," Shinki said, her voice strained and pained. "The great mother, the creature of infinite warmth and love. I didn't want to kill anyone today, but even my infinite mercy has limits."

"Die!" Shizuha shrieked. She fired another rot orb, but it didn't reach Shinki, faded halfway. Shinki flinched.

"When my tower crumbled, I wanted to truly kill the shrine maiden, erase her from existence. Fortunately, she had the power to escape reality and avoid any harm. I heard she changed for the better, is loved and respected in Gensokyo. Say, do you possess such power? If you do, I suggest using it now."

Shizuha didn't know how to respond. She dumbly stared, and suddenly felt weird, as if the whole world centered on her, closed in, started to squeeze.

"No?" Shinki tilted her horribly rotten head to the side. "Then you are dead, I killed you with a thought. You are not going to become anything better or worse. Goodbye."

A rift opened around Shizuha, a real one this time, she saw familiar debris in it, a distant shape of YuugenMagan's lightning. Shinki didn't move, but the curses were drawn into the hole, and so was Shizuha, and so was everything around her. Shizuha fell, and lost consciousness in the swirl.

The tank wreckage entered the gap last, and the rift closed. Shinki's torn wings faded, and the light in the dome flickered again. She took a few uneven steps, and awkwardly sat on the throne. Blood and other fluids pooled under her, caused a tiny flood in the tiny palace at her feet.

"Don't worry, little ones, mommy is not going to die," Shinki whispered. "She is just tired from cleaning the trash. She'll sleep a bit, and help you…"

Shinki slumped on the throne, and the dome went dark.

**[~ == ~]**

**[~( ,' )~]**

**[ ~ || ~ ]**


	6. Homecoming

**Chapter 6: Homecoming**

**[~ == ~]**

**[~( ,' )~]**

**[ ~ || ~ ]**

Light, light and cold once again. Shizuha groaned, cracked open her eyes, rolled on her side to see where she was. A snowy field, only this time, the snow was dirty and thin, this time, there was a smoking metal wreck nearby. A few floating eyes convulsed on the ground, flapped helplessly. In the air, curses squirmed and faded, dispersed, returned to poison the land. No doubt, some remained in Makai or got lost between worlds, but in the end, Hina achieved little.

Shizuha started coughing. She couldn't stop, coughed out gray, granular dust. A sign of the approaching final death, the autumn goddess was sure.

She felt strange, empty. It wasn't like in the dream, wasn't like in the previous years. Those times when first snow fell there was relief, something pierced the bubble of despair around her, released her from pain. Not this time, there was emptiness within and nothing without, in time or space. It was as if an infinite sphere of stone surrounded her, crushed her, not let her flex a muscle or thought.

Shizuha managed to control her coughs and slowly stood up. She couldn't die here, on a nameless field, alone. She wanted others to see, to remember, to treasure the moment of her end. Everyone who laughed, who disregarded, who turned away, she wanted to show them all. Perhaps she could show her sister at least, and see her tears.

Shizuha tried to fly, but found out she could not, the invisible sphere weighted her down, infiltrated inside. She'd have to walk like a mere human, and maybe embarrassingly slip and fall a few times on the way. At least it wasn't too far, an hour of walking at most.

Shizuha walked, and coughed, and the sphere grew tighter.

The sun slowly set, and the curses dispersed. The eyes died, they could not survive in light and clean air. A few feral snow fairies cautiously approached the ash-covered field, smelled the dead eyes, poked them. The bravest one took a bite from a wing, and spit it out. The fairies flew away, and for a while, everything was silent.

Then, there was a screech of metal, and a scaled, armored vine burst through the smoking remains of the tank. It opened at the end, bloomed into a flower, gave birth to a fruit. The vine withered, the fruit fell and burst, and a misshapen and naked humanoid crawled out, its skin wrinkled and flaking. It coughed out liquid, stood up, turned towards the low sun, spread its arms, drank the rays.

The body changed, it was now a body of a beautiful, powerfully built woman. New, healthy skin pushed from underneath, and the wrinkled shell shifted, changed appearance to that of a long and red checkered dress. New hair grew from the scalp, green like newborn grass, reached shoulder length in seconds. The face gained symmetry, and Yuuka Kazami smiled. She opened her eyes.

"Good split," Yuuka said to herself. "Very good split."

She made her way to the tank, circled it. A few white flowers that grew from metal somehow survived the destruction. Yuuka pulled one out, and the flower became larger, thicker, until it was the size of a parasol, until it became one. She turned it towards the sun to gather rays faster and slammed her palm on the scorched armor.

"Come out, we're back in Gensokyo!" Yuuka shouted.

For a while, nothing happened, and Yuuka shrugged. She turned towards the sun, and spun her parasol.

There was a hiss, and pale green fog seeped out of the tank, pooled on the ground, started to take form. A misshapen green monster, rolls upon rolls of fat. More and more fog poured into it, and it remained ugly and bloated, its bulging eyes glazed over and blind.

"Don't you dare tell me you split badly," Yuuka said.

The bloated thing released a strange, otherworldly howl, and froze in place. It cracked at the middle like an egg, and Parsee crawled out, looking like she always did. The ugly shell shattered, turned to fog again, and Parsee breathed it in.

"I split well, but it still was way too close for comfort," Parsee said. She shivered and tightened her scarf. "We got lucky."

"A little." Yuuka looked around. She noticed the footprints in snow and smiled. "And a little lucky here again."

"One last torture, eh?" Parsee giggled. "Am I invited?"

Yuuka took flight. "Be my guest. It's going to be funny."

They flew slowly over the snowy fields, followed the trail of footsteps, the large indentations where Shizuha slipped and fell. The sun set, but Yuuka still spun her parasol, gathered the last refractions of the fading light. A small farm became visible in the distance, its windows dark.

Yuuka stopped in air. Parsee felt uneasy, the aura of the house was terrible, dark, crushing. She looked at Yuuka and felt a chill, the face of the flower youkai was blank, almost sorrowful, almost like it was after she opened the locked room.

"Try not to laugh too hard," Yuuka said dully.

**[~ == ~]**

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Shizuha made it home. How, she didn't know herself, she thought she'd die the second time she fell in the snow. Then, she thought so again, and again, but somehow she stood up and continued on.

The day was over, only a small part of the sun was still above horizon, but the house was dark and silent, no candles lighting the windows, no smoke from the chimney. Her sister wasn't at home, Shizuha realized. Her walk through the snow was for nothing.

Shizuha angrily pulled the door open. She expected warmth, a smell of fruit and baked bread, but cold rot washed over her. Yuuka's mansion smelled this way, but this was worse, many times worse. Somehow, Shizuha managed not to vomit, only coughed more.

She walked in, and squished something. Worms, white and slippery worms, everywhere. There was a mountain of rotten fruit at the middle of the living room. Everything Minoriko gathered to dry up for the winter, pumpkins, mushrooms, apples, everything was decaying, oozing filth.

"Shi… zu…"

The weak call came from deeper inside, somewhere close to the stairs. Shizuha covered her face with a sleeve and moved forward, holding back a gag every time she squished a worm.

Something was at the bottom of the stairs, a wheezing and quivering dying thing. It took Shizuha some time to recognize her sister's clothes, the creature no longer had arms or legs, only worm-ridden torso and head remained, floated in a puddle of something viscous and foul-smelling. There was little skin left on the face.

"Hey, sis… welcome home…" the creature wheezed. "…sorry, I'm a little sick… haha…"

This wasn't right. No, it was beyond not right, it was not real. That thing could not be her sister.

"Explain," Shizuha said. The creature on the ground lifted its head.

"No, you… explain," the thing said after a while. "What did… you do? Everything was fine… then you disappeared… where..? A curse from beyond… cut me off from you… from faith… crushed me…"

"You are not my sister," Shizuha said. "You are some lowly worm youkai. Get out of my house."

"I can't… get up…"

Shizuha realized it was quite a stalemate – the rotting creature would not move, but moving it meant touching it. She found a solution – she would step over it and go upstairs, where hopefully nothing was infested. She'd go to her room, go to bed and sleep, and not wake up.

"When my sister returns, she is going to kick you out," Shizuha said. "You'll recognize her easily, she wears an apron and likes to walk barefoot. Tell her I'm dead, and that I only regret one thing – not spitting in her face every time she told me how great autumn is."

The creature on the floor gurgled. "Do it now… because it is… the season of harvest, honey, gold…"

"You are not my sister." Shizuha stepped over the sprawled thing and walked upstairs.

"We are one… yin and yang… sides of autumn… as long as one lives… the other…"

The creature stopped making sounds. Shizuha looked over her shoulder, and saw it collapse, decay into a pool of liquid. And it dared to wear and dirty her sister's favorite dress and hat, how disgusting.

Shizuha made it to her room. The decay was here too, but of a different kind – stitched leaf wallpapers almost fully crumbled, and the air was thick with dust. Shizuha bent over and violently coughed, and the dust from her lungs joined the dust in air.

She had no strength left to change her clothes or open the window. She removed her shoes, and crawled under the cold blanket. It seemed much heavier than she remembered, almost crushing. Shizuha stopped moving, breathed shallowly, and stared at the ceiling.

The words of the worm creature kept ringing in her head. It claimed to be her sister – why? What would it gain? Then again, why would her sister die? It made no sense. Shinki had absolute power only inside of her own world, right? She couldn't reach outside, and she didn't need to, there was no need to kill Minoriko, right?

They were not one being, they were not two halves of a whole. They had different, unique minds, bodies, souls. True, one could support another in time of need spiritually, it happened in the previous years, it happened last year. After what happened at the bridge, Shizuha returned home, naked, crying, drank the poison, sliced her neck open with a knife. Minoriko saw it all, and still pulled Shizuha through, dragged her essence through the winter, laughing her annoying laugh all the way.

And so, if Shinki really wanted to kill, to destroy, to erase, she'd have to reach through the border, follow that spiritual link and squeeze.

"My sister is dead," Shizuha said numbly. "Everyone is dead."

There was a sound of a door opening from downstairs. The house was old, poorly soundproofed, and Shizuha could hear someone vomit. A faithful follower? A guest? An intruder?

"Leaf-painter!" a familiar voice called. "Don't hide, we know you're here!"

"Or maybe not," Shizuha hatefully whispered. "Of course, _she_ lives."

The intruders rummaged downstairs. It took them some time to search the house and get to the second floor, and all this time Shizuha didn't move, she could no longer move, only muttered powerless curses, only the fading embers of hatred remained, nothing else.

The door opened, and in darkness, two pairs of eyes glowed, ruby and emerald. They moved closer.

"Monsters…" Shizuha coughed a few times. "You do not deserve mercy. You do not deserve life."

"We are creatures of duality," Yuuka said. "We can split, sacrifice a part so the whole can continue living. Shinki is arrogant and short-sighted, easy to trick. We wanted to live, and are. You wanted to die, and will. Congratulations."

Shizuha closed her eyes. Somehow, she wanted to laugh. She'd die, but die knowing her old enemy had gone completely insane. It was rather obvious in hindsight, the signs were all there.

"You think you tricked the world creator." Shizuha snickered. "Yuuka, you've gone senile. Or perhaps you both are dead, and this is yet another dream, and Shinki is cheering me up with your fading ghosts. She always wanted her enemies to die happy."

"And even on your literal deathbed, you still can't see the truths of life," Yuuka said sadly. "It's a pity I couldn't heal you after all."

Shizuha laughed, a choking laugh, and thin clouds of dust came up from her throat. "Yuuka, you tortured me, kept destroying my body. If you think that was healing, then you are beyond insane, you are… I don't know a word for it. The word to describe your insanity does not exist."

Yuuka frowned. "Do you think I did it all only because I get off on torture? Do you think our meeting was random, and what happened next was an extraordinary chain of bad luck? No, it was not, I planned it all, I did it all for you. For you, the weakest and most pitiful enemy I've ever had."

She accusingly pointed at Shizuha, but the autumn goddess kept laughing.

"I did it all on Gensokyo side," Yuuka said. "I opened the rift to Makai in advance, bound YuugenMagan with a spell. I enslaved Parsee, negotiated with Medicine, she gave you bitter water instead of poison. I wanted you to see the Mansion of Dreams, live in it, dream in it. It would heal your sick mind."

"So many lies, a lie wrapped in lie. The poison was real, it hurt Shinki. Nothing you say adds up, you lie. You always lie."

"Maybe Medicine disobeyed me," Yuuka said. "Or maybe you made the poison real with your faith, you believed it to be deadly, and it became so."

"We rehearsed the bridge fight in advance," Parsee added. "Yuuka blew a hole in me and dragged me down with her because I messed up my lines. It's easy to enter Makai, it's nearly impossible to know what's inside or to escape it. It was a gamble, a good try, but it didn't work out. Too bad, too sad."

"So many lies…" Shizuha whispered. There was a pause, and in the silence Shizuha could hear Yuuka grind her teeth.

"I am a youkai, a carnivorous flower of evil," Yuuka growled. "I can't go against my nature. I can't reassuringly smile, hold you hand, tell you everything is going to be alright. I can't ask others for help, it has to be my fight, only mine, and damn it, I wanted to win so badly, prove that life triumphs over death. I lost, and it is only your fault."

"You've lived for far too long, Yuuka. You don't know what you want anymore, what emotions mean, what empathy is. Everything has become a lie, a game only you know rules of. Soon, you will forget those too, and will keep living as a vegetable, a living corpse. A corpse, just like me."

Shizuha went into another coughing fit. Yuuka's gaze was cold.

"Fine," Yuuka said. "Believe what you will. You are a victim, everyone bullied you, right until you died. Damn shame about your sister, but I am not going to lose any sleep over it. There are hundreds of lesser autumn gods awaiting promotion. I will see your replacement next year, and tell her your story as a warning. I'm done here."

She turned, and walked to the door. With incredible effort, Shizuha managed to lift her head from the pillow.

"Yes, leave me. Just like you left little Yuuka. Poor sick girl, waiting for her mother to return, praying every day, drowning in despair. What a lucky person you are, you get to kill your daughter twice."

Yuuka stopped in the doorway. Parsee backed away, and hugged the wall, as far as possible from the likely firing arc.

"You are nothing like her," Yuuka said without turning. "She died happy, seeing beautiful dreams, a loyal guardian at her side, loyal beyond death. You will die cold and alone, knowing you killed your family. Move, splitter, we have a lot of work ahead of us."

Yuuka disappeared from view. Parsee sighed in relief, approached the bed. She leaned to Shizuha's ear. She faintly smelled of vomit.

"And the best part," Parsee whispered, "is that I am going to get away with everything. I am going to return to the bridge, help Yuuka close the rift, go and get wasted on parties where nobody likes me. I will escort fat and ugly drunk oni home and fuck them dry."

Shizuha wanted to respond, but could only gurgle. Parsee reached out and grabbed Shizuha behind the jaw, forced her mouth open, forced a kiss. Shizuha felt something being sucked out of her.

Parsee straightened and licked her lips. "Ah, the dying jealousy, you still have it. In the end, you are the same as everyone else. You still want to live, if only to see others suffer. So much for being a corpse."

Parsee giggled, and made her way to the door.

"You will be punished," Shizuha whispered. "There will be retribution."

"Oh no!" Parsee exclaimed. "I forgot there for a second that the world is just and fair! Now that I've remembered, hundreds of appropriate and ironic misfortunes will turn my life into a living nightmare!"

She turned in the doorway, closed the door, almost. Only one her eye was still visible through the crack, a tiny green ring.

"Hey," Parsee said. "Want to know a secret? Yuuka was jealous of your desperate determination. Deep inside, she wanted to be like you, lose control, go rabid, kill everything in sight without restraint. But now her jealousy is gone, replaced with grief and guilt, you've managed to break her. I am so proud of you."

The door clicked shut. Shizuha felt leaves in her hair crumble, and her hair started to fall out next, it coiled up and turned from yellow to gray, turned to dust.

"No, Parsee, you are not proud," Shizuha whispered. "You are afraid, afraid that Yuuka will tire of you, kill you on a whim. And if she doesn't, then Moriya gods will reach out, drag you from your broken bridge, and you will beg for mercy, and whimper, and…"

And then Shizuha realized something. Even if this happens, she would not know. She would not know anything; she would lose her self, disperse into autumn, and be forgotten in a decade.

Everything faded. Truly, this was the end.

Shizuha wanted to cry, and couldn't, couldn't despite all the dust around, no tears in her eyes, almost no blood in her veins. Is this what Minoriko felt in the end? Only for her sister, it came unexpected, she died like a kitten thrown in a river, helpless and confused.

Shizuha sobbed. What could she do? What would she do if she knew she had to kill her sister to die herself? Would she poison the food, see Minoriko choke on it? Of course she would, and regret it later, have second thoughts later, just like now. The last vestiges on an animal inside of her, squirming, crawling away from the approaching shadow of death, screaming that her decision was wrong, that it wasn't too late, and all she needed to do was ask for help, cry, beg...

"Yuuka, Parsee…" Shizuha managed to whisper. "I know you haven't left, I know you're right behind the door… I will not beg. I do not regret anything, not even killing my sister. With my dying breath… I curse you… all…"

Shizuha's heart stopped, and her body crumbled, collapsed under the weight of the blanket. Her head rolled down, fell to the floor, burst into a cloud of dust on impact.

The infinite sphere crushed her soul.

Outside, a fair distance away from the farm, Yuuka sneezed.

**[~ == ~]**

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**[ ~ || ~ ]**

Shinki sat on the crystal throne, unmoving and rigid. Her wounds refused to heal, resisted treatment. What that insignificant and worthless goddess splashed on her, it was poison, but it was also something else, raw, condensed hatred. It spread over her, and kept eating her flesh, almost as if it had a mind of its own, and even demonic regeneration could not keep up.

How much time had passed? Shinki didn't keep count. Every week, day, hour was a struggle. She covered her exposed organs with clear crystal, she covered half of her face with a mask, and still everything got constantly infected and inflamed.

She dreamed in new faithful to treat her, but it wasn't enough. She couldn't cleanse herself, she tried and repeatedly failed, and the new creations were too weak to help, they were crude, little more than faceless mannequins. She gave them familiar names, Yumeko, Louise, Alice, but it wasn't enough.

And yet, Shinki refused to accept it as her end. She fought, battled, waged invisible war against the replicating filth inside her, and the crystal creations kept worshiping her, sustaining her with faith, telling her every day she looked a little better. They shaped their own creations, awful paintings, bland spells. Shinki tried to smile and encourage every time.

A crystal mannequin appeared in her view, and awkwardly did a curtsy. Who was it? Probably Yumeko, but Shinki was in too much pain to distinguish.

"Lady Shinki, an intruder approaches," the mannequin said.

"Do not attack, treat the intruder like a guest. I shall deal with this personally."

"But it's dangerous! I you wish us to, we will gladly sacrifice ourselves to slow her down."

Yumeko didn't have a face, she had eyes, but not a face. She tried to express concern and loyalty with the front of her head as best as she could. Shinki smiled warmly.

"No, there is no need for that. You don't have to die for me, ever. Remember that."

The front part of Yumeko's head showed confusion. "But… I mean of course, Lady Shinki. I shall lead the intruder to you."

The crystal creature left. Shinki exhaled, and tried to reach further with her will, to see who was approaching, and couldn't, slammed into a wall of pain. She'd have to see with her own eyes.

The intruder approached, familiar shape, familiar colors, familiar parasol. Yuuka Kazami, in the flesh, and the crystal creations gave her a wide berth, expressed fear. Shinki did her best to contain her own emotions, she'd have to choose words carefully, one mistake now could end her life.

Yuuka stopped in front of the throne. Shinki didn't stand up.

"We meet again, dark dreamer. I find your new look rather tasteless and shameless," Yuuka said plainly. Changing clothes was difficult, and Shinki's torso plate was exposed most of the time, and it was exposed now, organs showed through.

"I see you destroyed your model," Yuuka continued. "Glad you did, there was too much repetition in it."

Shinki did destroy the tiny world, but she had no choice, the inside of the dome was about as much as she could affect now. She needed to break it into pieces, reshape it to create followers, survive. She couldn't tell Yuuka that. She couldn't show weakness.

"Makai will be reborn," Shinki said. "I am glad you decided to see with your own eyes."

"With your own eyes," Yuuka repeated with disdain. "I dislike this part of your infinite madness the most. Many survivors of the firestorm died later because of it, because you refused to let them out. Outside the dome, your name is spoken as a curse."

The crystal creatures became agitated, raised their weapons, readied their spells. Their mistress, their goddess was insulted, they couldn't stay idle. Shinki raised her arm to calm them down, and it caused a spike of pain. Her lips contorted, but she immediately regained control.

"The moment when the world is reborn is the moment of flawless beauty," Shinki said. "To see it from the inside is a treasured privilege."

Yuuka winced. "I'm done waiting. I'm moving my mansion out, and you will help me do it. Make me a sun, a small one, I need it to charge the ritual."

"No." Shinki put as much emphasis on her denial as possible. "No sun will ever shine in Makai. You insult me, Flower Master."

"You insulted me first. I've lost a lot of respect for you when you used the forbidden dream spell in a friendly skirmish. Listen to yourself, listen to reason, and stop being so overdramatic, we are not on stage."

Shinki raised her only remaining eyebrow. Yuuka dismissively waved at the crystal figures behind her. "No, those don't count as audience."

"And yet, you didn't destroy them. It means you consider them more than mere toys."

"Should I kill a few? Perhaps I should."

Yuuka started turning, and Shinki breathed in sharply. "Don't you dare. I saw you hiding in that tank, and, in my infinite mercy, I let you live. Do not make me regret that decision."

Yuuka turned back. She looked surprised. "Oh? My obfuscation spell was rather complex. Still, you only wanted to scare us, you wanted us to run and hide inside the mansion, curl up and wait for the world's rebirth. It was a staged performance, and you threw us out once you got a bloody nose. Don't call it mercy, there was nothing on the line."

Shinki felt another shot of pain. She would not be able to keep face for much longer. "Believe what you will. What do you want, Yuuka?"

"A sun. Make it black if you absolutely can't get over aesthetics of the perfect dark."

"No."

Yuuka's mouth twitched in anger, but suddenly she relaxed and smiled. "I see."

Shinki prepared for an attack, Yuuka always smiled like that before attacking. Shinki expected a spark, she expected her remaining shields to collapse and her entrails to burn. It would kill the world, kill them both. Perhaps Yuuka didn't come for her mansion. Perhaps she was not here by her own will, maybe she was, like Rika, cast here, sealed here for some crime she committed in Gensokyo. Perhaps Yuuka had gone insane. Perhaps…

Yuuka didn't attack. Instead, she simply spoke. "I see it now. It's not like you are insanely stubborn, you are just too weak and wounded to do it. It's fine, the kind, warm and fuzzy Yuuka is here to help. She'll sink her healing claws into your warm insides, tear out and eat everything that ails you."

Shinki hissed. Inside her, pride battled with pain. Pride won. "I don't need your help."

Yuuka's smile grew wider. "Prove it. A challenge, no spells, no dirty tricks, power against power. Your power to crystallize against my power to hydrate, and one flower survives or dies. If you win, I will return to the mansion and wait for your perfect world, and tell poor Rika she is going to die choking on ash after all. I win, and I'll heal you, and you will make me a sun. Let's begin."

She stepped forward, and produced a small blue flower from her hand. She planted it in crystal floor, and it took root.

"I can crush it, and you, with a thought," Shinki said.

"And lose the last shreds of your dignity? I don't think so. Crystallize the flower, dark dreamer."

Shinki clenched her teeth, she had no choice but to accept the duel, fight on Yuuka's terms. She looked down, focused on the unnatural, insulting flower. It had to die, and Shinki wished it so. Shimmering white liquid pushed up the roots.

Yuuka extended her arm, and green light pushed the liquid back. They fought for a while, Yuuka was silent and smiling, but Shinki couldn't smile, she battled through terrible pain, sweat dripped from her brow, she groaned and suppressed a desire to scream. The crystal plate that held her entrails cracked.

"You are weakening," Yuuka said. "Admit defeat, this isn't worth dying for. It's just a flower."

"Silence, infidel."

"It's _just_ a_ flower_."

Shinki snarled under the mask. It was not fair. Yuuka was fresh, rested, she no doubt prepared for the duel in advance, and this was not just a plant, it was a symbol, a symbol of her defiance. The flower refused to die, it laughed at her with the petals, mocked her with its frail stem. It had to die. Every flower needed to die, it was the law, the law of nature.

No, it was beyond laws of nature. It was the law of Autumn, and Yuuka dared to break it, she was an abomination, her garden – an undying tumor, her existence – a sin!

Shinki screamed, rose from her throne. She pointed down, a stream of decay shot out from her hand, and the flower withered, died on the spot. Shinki kept pointing at it, until it crumbled to dust, until crystal under it melted, until rock under it boiled. She turned her attention, her hatred on Yuuka then, and Yuuka backed away, shielded herself with the parasol. Another flower that needed to die, Shinki concentrated, and black spots tainted the white, spread, started to burn through.

The stream flickered, lost potency. The spread of black slowed and stopped, the decay was pushed back, and the parasol regenerated, became whole. Somehow, the world seemed clearer now, like a veil was lifted from Shinki's eyes. She dropped her arm, and Yuuka lowered her shield. Yuuka was not smiling.

"I won," Shinki said.

"You broke the rules," Yuuka said. "I am disappointed."

Shinki felt her anger drain, felt something inside of her change. She looked down, and saw the crystal plate crumble to pieces, her ribs started growing, muscles started to cover her organs. Her mask fell and shattered on the floor. Behind Yuuka, the faceless creations cheered. Shinki looked up in daze.

"I…" she stumbled. "I won…"

"No."

Shinki slumped and sulked. She was still in pain, but the thing that kept eating her was gone, she spent it all, burned it all. And the world, her world, was still gone, and nothing had changed. Shinki wanted to cry, but she couldn't allow herself that, not in front of the elder youkai, not under that piercing and judging gaze.

"I see my healing is no longer required," Yuuka said. "When I return to the mansion, I expect a sun over it. Do not disappoint me again."

Yuuka turned and walked away. Shinki wanted to shout to her, ask her to stay, wait just a little longer. She'd wish the world into existence, as beautiful as before, she just needed more time, a little more time…

Yuuka stepped out of the dome, vanished in darkness. The crystal people ran to Shinki, dropped on their knees, celebrated her miraculous restoration to health. Shinki hid her face, and tears traced her cheeks. No doubt, her faithful would take them for tears of happiness.

Shinki focused her will, and somewhere far, a dark sun was born.

The End


	7. Hina's dream

**A/N: **The story is over. This is a dream Shinki shows Hina in the dome. I wrote it long ago as a oneshot, so it will probably feel out of place. Enjoy the silliness.

**Extra: Hina's dream**

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One cold autumn morning, Hina Kagiyama decided to make a sandwich.

"I'm going to make a sandwich today!" she loudly announced, a wide smile on her face. Naturally, nobody heard her, as Hina lived alone on the slope of the Youkai Mountain, and with her life occupation as a mobile and sapient container of curses, her only companions were voiceless inanimate dolls.

Immediately after the pathos-filled announcement, several problems presented themselves. A recipe had to be composed, ingredients had to be gathered, and finally, the sandwich had to be shared with someone, as eating the self-crafted delicacy all by herself struck Hina as a very sad and depressing experience.

Wisely deciding that the last problem would be the one of the highest difficulty, Hina immediately focused all her mental and physical resources on solving it. To be more specific, she put on her brightest dress, laced herself with the most luscious ribbons, and, her smile never wavering, rushed blindly in a random direction.

Mere half an hour later the almighty hand of fate guided her to the person she was destined to share the sandwich with. The person was sitting under an old and bare oak tree, and looked from a distance like a bloody blot surrounded by a pile of gold, the gold being leaves, and the blot being Shizuha Aki.

"Hi!" Hina called out on approach. "Great day today, isn't it?"

Shizuha didn't respond right away. She waited for Hina to move closer, then dramatically sighed and cast her eyes downward.

"Today is as bad as any other day," she quietly said. "All nature is dying, struggling in futility against the frigid death grasp of the approaching winter. Move away from me, accursed doll. Move away before… hey! Get away! Stop it!"

Overwhelmed by Shizuha's waves of despair, Hina could no longer restrain herself and hug-assaulted the autumn goddess.

"Let go!"

"But hugs cheer people up!"

"No! You are going to contaminate me with misfortune this way! Let go!"

For a while, Shizuha struggled against Hina's hold, and the awkward moment ended with a push and a shuffle through the dead leaf pile. Shizuha then regained composure, jumped in the air, gained a little altitude and stared Hina down.

"Such inappropriate behavior," she said, menacingly narrowing her eyes. "Are you trying to provoke me? If that's a spell card fight you want, you'll get it."

Hina shook her head. "No, nothing like that. I just wanted to eat a sandwich today, and share it with someone, and you looked lonely, so…"

The pause dragged for a while, then Hina bowed deeply and continued. "Lady Aki, will you please be my companion in this cuisine-eating endeavor?"

"No. I will not share food with the curse goddess. I'd rather eat my own flesh, mournfully weeping for every piece I'd have to slice off myself. I'd rather grievously harm my sister in a hundred unspeakable ways…"

Shizuha's speech continued, and like ship's hull gets overgrown with barnacles, the bare bones of her refusal became overgrown with very graphic, and very unnecessary details of mutilation and other gruesome acts Shizuha would rather do to herself and her immediate family instead of sharing the sandwich. She got so absorbed in her own voice she failed to notice the significance of Hina going wide-eyed and backing away, and she also missed a very quickly descending shadow.

From behind, a long and thick white radish connected with Shizuha's skull with a resounding 'trump', and she was immediately circled by her younger sister. Minoriko looked rather flustered, and her apron-covered dress was surrounded by a faintly visible aura of rage.

"Stop bullying Hina," Minoriko demanded.

"It hurts, it hurts!" was Shizuha's immediate reaction, along with covering and rubbing her head. "And I'm not bullying her, she's bullying me! Side with me!"

Minoriko tapped her foot in air. "For several days, you've been sitting under this tree, rocking back and forth, whispering to yourself and staring at your hands. It's not healthy, so go with Hina on an exciting social adventure and help her out. It's for your own good."

"No! You don't know anything! It is only natural that I am to perish under this very tree! This was the last leafed tree in Gensokyo, and with it relieved of its malachite coat, the approach of the merciless winter is inevitable! Death and despair awaits all!"

Hina couldn't see Minoriko's glare, but the hand of the harvest goddess holding the radish moved slightly, and Shizuha deflated, sulked, and sunk to the ground.

"Fine," Shizuha said. "I'll go, but just you wait. Soon, I shall reveal my true colors, and you will all be appalled and disgusted, horrified by-"

"Just go, Shizuha."

The leaf-turning goddess scoffed, stormed past Hina and took off. For a moment Hina felt lost, but Minoriko reassured her with a smile.

"She'll help you, don't worry. Something like this happens to her every year. Every damned year."

Minoriko trailed off and went a bit glassy-eyed, apparently overtaken by unpleasant memories. Hina did her best to reassure the harvest goddess back with a smile of her own, then turned and hurried after Shizuha.

She approached Human Village in high spirits. After all, the hardest part of the journey was already over.

**[~ == ~]**

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"I'd like some ham," Hina politely said.

The butcher didn't answer. His gaze kept shifting, dancing around and focusing on everything but the goddess in front of him. His jaw was clenched shut, and he kept crossing and uncrossing his fingers, a sign of warding from misfortune and curses.

"Hello?" Hina asked, and waved her hand in front of the man's face. "I'm right here, and I'm a customer. I'd like some ham, please sell me some ham."

"He is not going to," Shizuha said from behind. "None of them will interact with you. Clinging to the futile hope that ignoring the problem will make it go away, the humans never learn. And you will never be anything but hated."

"But why? I am not evil or do this on purpose, I don't curse humans on purpose. I take their misfortune away, and store it in myself, and if anything overflows and clings back to them, it was their own in the first place."

Hina smiled and looked around. The marketplace was nearly empty, and scarce bystanders quickly scuttled away, crossing their fingers and muttering prayers.

"Just give up," Shizuha said. "It is pointless, like everything in life."

Hina's smile faded for a moment, but she immediately caught herself and forced it back. "Don't say things like that, it'll be alright, you'll see. We will share a delicious, exquisite sandwich, and you'll cheer up."

Hina turned back to the counter. "Human, if you won't tell me the price, I'll just take this slice and pay you tenfold. Look, these are gold coins, they will surely cover your expenses."

To unending horror of the vendor, Hina reached into her pocket, dug up two tiny golden disks, and put them on the counter. The coins didn't gleam, they were dull, scratched, depicted in great detail maws of horrifying demons, and were seeping out an unhealthy purple glow.

"No… money is necessary," the butcher said. "Take… whatever you like, just leave, please."

"Hmm? But you surely worked hard to produce this rare meat commodity. By all means, take the coins, I have plenty more."

The butcher started to back away, but Hina caught his arm and forced the sinister coins into his hand. The glow flashed and faded, absorbed by the flesh. The man turned pale and he started to gasp for breath.

"Oh, don't worry, it's nothing but magic afterglow, the coins aren't cursed," Hina said quickly. "If misfortune befalls you, it won't be because-"

"Fire! Fire in the village! Fire!"

The shout came from one of the nearby streets. The butcher froze and turned there.

"My house is that way," he said, his voice dead. "My son…"

He stepped around the counter and walked in the direction of the shouts, a stiff awkward walk of a man who lost everything. There was a long, hollow pause.

"Oh well," Hina cheerfully said. "Such was his fate, then. Now, let's go get some lettuce!"

"All the shopkeepers ran away," Shizuha remarked.

Indeed, the marketplace was nearly empty now, the stalls left unattended, the goods left behind. A handful of village guards gathered in the distance, brandishing spears but daring not to move closer.

"Let's just grab what we need and leave the money, then. I'm sure the humans wouldn't mind."

"Whatever."

The next part proved to be much easier. Without any terrified people to deal with, things proceeded smoothly. Before long, all the ingredients for the sandwich were gathered in a handy burlap sack, and all that was left to do was to find a suitable location for preparation and consumption of the unusual western dish.

It was then when an unexpected obstacle presented itself, in red-white shape and form of the rather angry shrine maiden, Reimu Hakurei. She landed on the market square and immediately stomped towards Hina, brandishing her purifying stick and shaking her fist.

"Hina!" Reimu shouted. "Brace for the pain!"

"Oh hello, Reimu, what a pleasant surp-"

Hina was interrupted by a fist to the face. The blow didn't land, instead Reimu opened her palm, revealing a crumpled paper sheet which immediately unfolded into a crisp rectangle charm. The charm lit up and exploded, staggering the curse goddess and pushing her back a few steps.

"The villagers are in panic, and I am very upset with you," Reimu said. "Coming to the village without warning, cursing the people, transgressions and crimes. Now, you will both pay."

Hina stabilized herself. The battle was inevitable, a battle she would lose. But victory against Reimu was not something Hina wanted to achieve that day, the sandwich was the goal, and the ingredients had to be protected.

"I entrust this to you," Hina said to Shizuha, and passed the bag to her companion. "Run, hide, keep it safe. We will meet later under the oak tree, I promise."

Shizuha shook her head. "Why the lies? You will not survive this. Reimu will kill you, destroy your body, seal your essence, shatter your spirit, and you will be replaced with another, smarter, better curse goddess. The last day of your life was spent on such a futile, insignificant endevour."

**[Dream Sign: Duplex Barrier] **

"Go!"

In the fleeting moment between spell card declaration and activation, Hina pushed Shizuha back, and the barrier blinked into reality between them. Determined, Hina turned to face the approaching streams of bullets. Shizuha backed away from the shimmering wall, clutched the bag to her chest.

"Such a pointless sacrifice, and for what, for a sandwich? For me? There is no escaping Reimu's wrath, but if I am to die today, then the mighty oak will serve as a perfect grave marker. Farewell, accursed doll. I hope you die here and won't live to see my torturous betrayal."

Alas, Hina couldn't hear Shizuha's parting words through the sizzling explosions.

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The bread was prepared.

A thin, nearly translucent layer of cheese was spread across it.

In-between, slices of tomato and a sheet of lettuce.

At the core, three thin rolls of smoked ham.

Everything assembled, put together, composed, completed, finalized.

The sandwich was ready.

And then it was chomped into, chewed on, and swallowed.

**[~ == ~]**

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Hina found Shizuha exactly where she expected to – under the oak tree. The curse goddess didn't feel that great physically, having partially lost vision in her left eye after one particularly accurate yin-yang orb hit, and her clothing was in a general state of torn ruin. Still, she couldn't help but smile. After all, it all ended much better than she expected, and soon enough, she would impress and cheer up another person with her newly obtained sandwich-making skills.

"Hi!" Hina called out on approach. "How time flies, eh? It's already dusk, such a great day, it's a pity it is nearly over."

"It was as bad as any other day," Shizuha said when Hina sluggishly floated closer. "Did Reimu let you go so you would lead her to me? I see no other reason why she'd let you live."

Hina lowered herself to the ground and tiredly leaned to the tree trunk. She then absentmindedly waved to Shizuha. "Don't worry about Reimu, she is not mad at us. The building that burned down was an abandoned one, and nobody got hurt. We negotiated terms on which I will visit the village in the future, and she didn't even mention you."

"Figures," Shizuha said, her voice full of pain.

"Oh no, no, I didn't mean it like that. I am sure she remembers you and appreciates your leaf-turning duties. But enough about Reimu, it's all about us! Us and the sandwich! Let's do this!"

Hina's bright smile was met with the one of Shizuha, a spreading cruel smirk that horribly twisted her expression. Shizuha then tilted her head down, and the shadow from her hairline covered her eyes.

"You poor, misguided, naive fool," she sadistically drawled. "Hina, there will be no sandwich for you today. I took the ingredients, prepared and ate it… myself."

Hina's eyes went wide. "Eh? But why? Why would you do that?"

"Because you must suffer!" Shizuha screamed, rising up in the air and spreading her arms. "There is no reward for effort, your best is never enough, in the end, the final leaf falls, and nothing remains but the howling wind in the heart of winter! Crumble! Crumble in despair!"

"But… I…"

"Or will you not crumble?" Shizuha asked coldly. "Will you deny your failure, deny my betrayal, curl up inside yourself and pretend this never happened? Or will you lash out at me, push me down to the ground and shove the dead leaves down my throat until I suffocate? Well? Do it! Kill me now!"

Hina averted her eyes. Shizuha returned to the ground, and grabbed Hina's chin.

"But you won't do it, will you?" Shizuha asked, bringing her face very close. "Always a good girl, always a good doll, living for others, not for yourself, taking their curses because it is why you were born, crafted, meld into shape. In the end, nothing for you, no final reward. It is how the world works."

"I am sorry," Hina said, still not making eye contact. "I am sorry it turned out this way. I am sorry for you."

"Sorry for me? Ha!" Shizuha backed away, lifted her arms to the sky and spun around once. "But I feel so good right now, I really do. I had a delicious, juicy sandwich all for myself. All for me, and nothing for you, nothing, absolutely nothing! Ahahahaha!"

Shizuha kept laughing, and spinning, the yellow leaves floated upwards around her, fluttered, fell back. She was laughing, and laughing, and laughing…

"I ate the sandwich with Reimu," Hina said. Shizuha stopped, as if she was hit. She turned, her face now a mask of terror.

"W-what?"

"I ate the sandwich with Reimu," Hina repeated. "When she defeated me, she asked why I came to the village, and I said it was because I wanted a sandwich. So we sat there, in the middle of the trashed marketplace, someone brought tea in, one thing led to another and… I'm sorry."

Shizuha's legs gave in. She collapsed, and sat awkwardly, silently whispering something.

"But it's okay! We can do this again sometime. In fact, with your duties around Gensokyo finished, we can do it tomorrow!"

Shizuha slowly turned, only eyes alive on her face. "There is no tomorrow for me."

"Oh, don't be silly now. The sun always rises the next day… unless the scarlet mist chokes everything in perpetual twilight, or the false moon makes the night eternal, that's not the point. The point is that it is always possible to try again! Also, something is happening to your body, have you noticed?"

From the lower part of Shizuha's dress, a leaf design broke off and fell, turned to a simple red leaf in fall. From the breakpoint, cracks started to spread up, formed leaf patterns, until they spread to arms and neck. Shizuha looked at her cracked arms and smiled.

"It's so fitting, isn't it?" she asked sadly. "The betrayer gets betrayed first, and dies first, literally crumbles, her will to live gone. Then the plucky hero freezes to death, succumbs to her wounds and the cold of the merciless night. Such a happy ending, don't you think?"

"No, it's not. Stop crumbling, please."

Shizuha picked at her sleeve, detached a piece of fabric, bared her shoulder. The cloth turned to crumpled leaves in her hand.

"Why stop it? What's the point of maintaining a body through winter, spring and summer? My sister has to, she has duties throughout the year, but I don't. I can sleep, and dream, and awaken when the season calls. Or maybe not awaken at all."

The cracks spread to Shizuha's face, and the gravity of the crisis struck Hina fully. It was truly a life-death situation, and it was up to her, and only her, to save or condemn another person to her fate.

But what was the best approach? What were those words, the most important words to say to someone who had lost all hope? Was she to appeal to the universal values of life, remind Shizuha of the little things that make life worth living, like sandwiches? Or maybe it was better to remind her that she was never truly alone, and how others and especially her sister cared for her? Or maybe enforce the point that her despair was not her inner quality, but external factor projected onto her because of human belief in the despair of autumn?

"Ah, as expected, you are silent. Farewell, Hina."

Hina panicked. Her time was up, she didn't come up with anything fitting to say, and the only thing left to do was to rely on basic instincts and hope for the best.

Thus, from her sitting position Hina rushed forward, crawled a few steps that separated her from the crumbling goddess, and embraced her in a hug.

For a long, horrible moment Hina expected for Shizuha to crack and fall apart right in her arms. However, the terrible moment passed, as did a few after that, and a few after that, and Shizuha remained relatively solid, creaking and flaking a bit, but in no hurry to crumble.

In a little while, she stopped shivering and pushing back too, which was definitely a good sign. The definite sign of everything ending well came a bit later, when the autumn goddess rested her head comfortably on Hina's shoulder and embraced her back.

"You are warm," Shizuha quietly said. "I thought you'd be cold, and hard like porcelain you are made of, but you are not. You are warm, and it makes me feel, it gives me hope that winter is not going to come. But it will, it always does, and with it loneliness and cold, and… and…"

And now Shizuha was crying. It was still better than decaying and breaking into a leaf pile, but it was still pretty far from what Hina wanted, and she didn't want that much, really – a little smile, a nod, the knowledge of everything being all right. Maybe a little more, but that was really not the most suitable place and time to consider such things.

"Will you spend the night with me?" Shizuha asked. It caught Hina a little off-guard.

"Oh? The night? W-with you? Ah, but lady Aki, what are you saying? It's, it's too soon! I… I…"

Suddenly aware of the condition of both her and Shizuha's clothing, their position and a myriad of other things to be suddenly self–aware of, Hina broke the hug and pulled away, blushing and covering herself. Shizuha, her eyes still misty, stared dumbly for a few seconds, then snickered, then laughed, a mischievous, happy laugh. It lasted for a while, and eventually got Hina to smile too.

"Well, now, look at us," Shizuha said after calming down. "Two damned gods at the dawn of winter, crying and laughing because of sandwiches and misunderstandings. So bizarre and pathetic, but I wouldn't trade this moment for an eternity of happiness and power. Would you?"

"I…" Hina stumbled. "Do I really have to make such a hard choice? I'd like a little happiness and power too, can't we have both? Let's work hard, and have both!"

"Maybe tomorrow, we both need rest. Let's crawl under the leaves, make them warm, and pretend the winter is somewhere far, far away. I am deathly tired from all this, no grave implications intended."

Shizuha waved at the leaves, and they started to shift, formed shapes that vaguely resembled bedding accommodations. The sun had sat long ago, and the last remnants of the orange curtain of light were fading at the horizon, giving way to the chilling darkness of night.

It was obvious Shizuha was in dire need of rest, and she was the one to crawl in the organized leaf pile first, muttering "goodnight" and burying herself fully. Hina soon followed, twisting and turning uncomfortably for a while, as sleeping like this was definitely new to her. She twisted, and turned, and spun, and eventually found herself next to the autumn goddess.

"Oh, I didn't mean to…"

Shizuha didn't answer. She was fast asleep, her face calm, the tiny cracks on her skin closing up and healing. Hina shifted a little bit closer so their warmth would be shared, and thought about that day, the next day, and the future.

"Good night, Shizuha. No matter what happens, I will always do my best to keep you warm."

One cold autumn night, Hina Kagiyama decided to make another person happy.

Extra End


End file.
